I don't...not anymore.

Every once in a while I feel a little twinge when I WANT to do something and I can't or when I think that I used to be able to do something so much more easily before...but it passes pretty quickly.

I think it's important to think about it as life just changing. My life changed a LOT after I graduated high school early. Okay...not exactly the same thing...but your comment about friends drifting away reminded me of this a lot. I started working and my friends were still in school and we just didn't have as many of the same shared experiences. Same thing could likely be happening with your old friends who have drifted away. I would guess it has less to do with them not wanting to spend the time with you...but more because you just don't have the same experiences as them.

Most of my new friendships are with online friends and I find I am closer to many of those people than I ever was to my "in person" friends. And these do not suffer with my limited mobility and new limitations. Most of them were met through an online cross stitch forum and as we have gotten to know another we have found many many other shared interests and have grown very close. They know we better than many of my own family.

A lot of it...I think...has to do not with just trying to keep a positive attitude but in making the most out of what you have now and now dwelling on what you have lost. When I don't feel like going out...I might invited people over for a movie night or something. I don't think people honestly want to avoid you...but the uncertainty of what you can and cannot do and also what you might enjoy (vs what will be more trouble than it's worth) can make people hesitant to invite you along on outings.

Also...have you tried a rollator (4 wheeled walker) instead of crutches? I used crutches for a while but that got to be very difficult for me because it caused more pain than it helped and once my RSD spread to me arms it became impossible. The rollator takes a lot of weight off my left leg (RSD in left ankle) and doesn't stress my arms out nearly as much as the crutches because you don't have to push down that hard to make a big difference in the weight on your leg. It also gives you a place to sit whenever you need it. It gives you a way to "carry" things without using your arms. You could even put your left knee up on it and "scoot" a bit if you need to or to use your two arms freely (also works if you just sit for a minute to do whatever it is so long as you can reach whatever it is sitting). Just a suggestion as the rollator has made me much more functional and really allows me to do a lot of things I couldn't if I was using crutches or even a cane.

For me...it's all about enjoying the life I have now and being grateful for everything I have now. Find new interests and make new friends that way. Remember that a phone works both ways (I personally am terrible at making phone calls...but this is why the online friendships work so well for me).

We all have bad days though. What you are feeling is not at all unusual...just don't let it get you down. In one of my worst moments when things were SO awful and I was being bounced around from one doc to the next and stuck in a wheelchair and yet ANOTHER doctor seriously let me down I got just so upset. My boyfriend told me I got one day...ONE...to feel sorry for myself and then tomorrow I had to pick myself up and get back to work (not work work...but to work finding a solution for the issues I was having). This was really great advice. I took my one day and then refocused and moved onto the next thing. I was able to seriously re-evaluate my current treatment plan and make some of the necessary changes (like finding a new GP) and from there everything just kept getting better.

Admittedly I was very lucky though to have a very supportive boyfriend, friends, and family who helped give me the strength I needed throughout the process. It makes things much easier for me because I had that going in. Focus on those good things and the bad/difficult things just are what they are. Your life may be different and things have changed...but life changes and change doesn't have to be bad. I'm VERY happy with my life now (despite the constant pain) and that's what I try to focus on. And as I said...I get those little twinges sometimes because it's more difficult to do certain things now with my limitations...but the important thing is not to dwell on them. I think, "Ah...the good old days" and move on.

Take care and good luck.