Mark,
I would love to talk to your wife once I can PM. Thank you. Listening to you it sounds like in time he will come around and perhaps be a bit more open to the fact he has some issues. Today I found a neuropsychologist in the area, very well recommended. I have a tentitive appt and a referral from his doctor in the works. Now I just have to convince him somehow.
Yes I have started limiting how much I talk to him when he comes home from work. I just let him play with the baby...he is 8 months now and is a complete crack up! We love him! I choose my battles very very wisely and if I have to I will tell him how I feel about something and move on. I get the impression he spends the next few days processing what I said because sometimes days later he will talk to me about something I had said.

well have a good rest of your day.