pdoc says i am am in a mixed state.


this after just about firing me ... long story. after ascertaining that he was inclined to continue to try to help me i said i had wondered about taking lithium again. did he think that would be appropriate.

he thought it was. i am already on depakote.depakote + lithium are an effective mix if one tolerates lithium. i barely do but i need *something* it should flatten me, at least take the edge off.

the thought is hated but less hated than what i am experiencing now.

here's the best part. it's so freakin complicated. i need a baseline EKG first. need to go to mdoc - get a state script - which has a number on it. need that number to make appointment for EKG. Appt may not be immediately available. I can only start Li+ after clear EKG.

I hate hate HATE all this stupid stupid STUPID bureaucracy!!!! i should at least be able to get up in the mornignn call and make an appointment then go get all the paperwork! ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

~ waves ~