Now now, lets not get into a disagreement about who's in more pain or who has the worst brain injury! Nobody can know what another person is going through

I have done my research on effexor and I'm terrified of the withdrawal symptoms especially because I've had to go off my teeny tiny dose of Amitriptyline (10mg) before and had horrible withdrawal symptoms even with tapering. But I have to give something a shot and this one has good success when you're on it. I guess I'll worry about going off it when it happens.

I'm not being prescribed an anti depressant for chronic pain or sleep (that's what my amitriptyline is for) it's being prescribed because the chemicals in my brain are out of whack and I'm having terrible anxiety and panic attacks. My brain is reacting to everything as if it's dangerous (possibly due to the dizziness and blurred vision) and is setting off a fight or flight response.

The fight or flight response is causing very real, very horrible symptoms of my brain shutting down, then comes the shaking and increased dizziness and blurred vision. Then a full blown panic attack could happen with chest pains, trouble breathing, etc. It's very frightening and making it difficult for me to move forward and increase my activities.

As I've been trying to go out of my house I've been having much more dizziness, blurred vision, crying for no reason, feelings of sadness and frustration and possibly the worst one is fear. I'm afraid to go out alone (almost got hit by a car), I'm afraid of the panic attacks, I'm afraid I'm not going to get better, I'm afraid I'll never return to the job I love. I don't like these feelings and they're getting stronger and stronger.

Like I've said, I meditate every day, I eat extremely well, I take my supplements, I use cognitive behaviour techniques and these feelings are getting stronger and stronger. I cannot ignore medications anymore no matter how much I don't want to take them.

I trust my NP and she has said no to meds all the way till now (9 months) and we have done everything else. She has seen the change in me and says it's time for meds. I trust that.

I have just taken my first pill, we are starting low at only 37.5mg, so lets hope there's no immediate reactions and then I can slowly work my way up.

Thanks everyone for all the advice and support. I look out my window and spring is coming, this is time for joy not fear.

Have a great day!
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