Hi everyone,

It's been quite awhile since I last posted here. I have some good news and bad news to report. The good news is, I got the results back from my second neuropsych test. They showed an overall improvement from the last test a year ago. Apparently, just about everything I've complained about becoming worse over time has improved. I should be excited about this, right? Well, I'm not. I will tell you why in a minute.

The bad news is, I know for a fact, without a shadow of a doubt, my communication skills and memory, especially long term memory has gotten much worse. I know this because my friend and I always talk about stuff we did when we were younger. Just a year ago or even 6 months ago, we sat around and laughed about the stupid stuff we used to do. Well, now when we sit around and talk he will bring up some of the stories we've already reminisced(sp?) about and it doesn't sound familiar to me. A lot of my past, even recent events, have disappeared from my memory. That, or they are taking much longer to retrieve. This makes it impossible to have conversation with people because I can't quickly relate to their story or topic of conversation.

My son is only 22 months old. My memories of him being little have vanished. My girlfriend will tell people stories about stuff he used to do when he was little, and it doean't ring a bell. This really shouldn't be happening to me. This is stuff that can't be detected on a neuropsych test, so I say the test is inaccurate when it comes to my symptoms increasing.

While looking through the neuropsych report, I noticed she said that my reports of stimulation overload were "perceived" as well as my decline of symptoms. So, I said screw it and went to the Las Vegas strip every other day for a week. If this is all in my head, I shouldn't have any problems in casinos or around crowds of people, right? Well that was a big mistake, especially having one beer every other night to ease my mind. I'm a total space cadet today.

Well, that's my update. I don't really know what to make of all this. I'm really depressed that my long term memories are vanishing. I always dreamed of telling my son stories about what he was like as a baby. Looks like it will have to be told by his mother while I sit there and pretend like I know/remember what she's talking about lol.

I hope everyone else is headed down the right track to recovery. You have all been in my prayers.

Nick