Quote:
Originally Posted by Senathon
I have learned from my asperger's son that there is no such thing as a normal person. 
I appreacte the feedback you provided. My main concern was either over or under reacting to her needs.
It was an interested response from her seeing me opening, closeing the door and helping with the seatbelt of my truck for her. I think she thought at first I was treating her like a china doll, but that is how I treat my dates. I am not old fashion, I just like treating any girl/lady(any age) as a lady.
Also thanks for the last tip, I did express to her that I do want to be with her, even if she feels really bad that she can not go out..  |
When it comes to reacting to her needs...let her tell YOU what those needs are. I get very annoyed when someone asks me if I need help with something or asks me who is helping me with something. If I need/want help I will ask for it. One thing about RSD is that is has robbed me of my independence in some ways and I resent that. So when people try to take other stuff away from me it makes me mad.
On the other hand...there are times I really struggle with something that someone else could do very easily. In those cases...if someone is standing there doing nothing and doesn't offer to help I get annoyed by that too. BUT...I would have been annoyed with that prior to RSD too because I can't stand lazy people.
Like I said...it's a fine line. I just want to be treated like everyone else with the same respect.
That said...I don't mean to imply that YOU change your personality either. If you are someone who ALWAYS goes out of the way to help other and it's just your "style" then that's fine. Just make sure she knows that though and demonstrate to her that you don't just want to treat HER that way but everyone. Because my point is that you should treat her the same as you would anyone else.
You sound like a really good person and I have no doubt that you will figure out the best situation for the two of you as a couple. I understand that my view may not be the same as others...lots of people WANT to be taken care of and want others to walk on egg shells around them. I don't know what type of girl your girlfriend is...but this is just my personal take on things and how I want to be treated.