Hi Choas. I can not put myself in your shoes, except for the wrists issue. Mine have gotten so bad as of late that I can not work at the moment. I luckily have wonderful support from my family. It really sounds like communication is the key for you. (as it is with most relationship issues.) Even with the wonderful support I recieve, I often find it hard to communicate with my partner about what is going on with me. It's no fun to talk about depressing pain, or fears, or anxiety, or any number of the negatives those with chronic pain face daily. When I feel myself getting to the breaking point, I write a letter. I am too emotional by this point to even remember all the things I would want to say, let alone express appropriately. If nothing else the weight of carrying that burden is lifted. Perhaps this advice can assist you.
If you are the only one with income, do you not control the video game options in the household? Cutting off the internet, removing the gaming system? If your Husband can't tear himself away from his game to offer you respect, is that the same care he provides for your daughter? (from the gamers I've known - they do not change behavior from the game no matter the person requesting attention.)
You sound like you have all the power to change your relationship, but relinquish it all willingly. It sounds like there maybe more to your story history of abuse/self esteem issues? Perhaps if you can not convince him to go to couples therapy, you may still find a benefit from individualized therapy (even if there isn't more to your story).
One last tip, a friend of mine doesn't do a lot of cooking herself. Instead she orders pre-prepared meals that are frozen and then she just heats them in the oven each night. They're not like pre-packaged, & full of preservatives frozen tv dinners, they are more like some grandma's catering business freezes family meals tht you eat within the week. Perhaps something like this would come in helpful, even if it's only for a few nights a week on those nights you just can't find the strength to make dinner.
If all else fails, start feeding them peanut butter and jelly sandwiches when you ask for help and he doesn't. If you ask for help, he declines and then you complete the task anyway, you are reinforcing the belief that you didn't really need the help in the first place. (Even though we both know mom's will hurt themselves first to provide for others.)