I do go to Al Anon and have for several years. I think your opinion that his old injuries will be hard to change now is right on. He has not accepted that he has problems. I am conflicted because I don't want to get divorced but I can't go on like this. I also worry and care about his future which seems kind of bleak. I have a lot of support and do take care of myself.
He has other issues besides the TBI; dyslexia, alcohol, low self-esteem. I do hope he gets some kind of help. Thank you for your well thought out and written response it has helped me tremendously and best of luck to you.