i know the pain your going through. i have trigeminal neuralgia, and so many times i thought the same way as i couldnt deal with the pain, but then I rememebered the saying. suicide is permanet, pain, etc is not. with the right amt of medication you will be ok. go to a specialist, and keep on till you get the help you need.Its awlful to be in pain all the time, but you need medicine that can be spread out to last many hrs, so you don't lapse without any. this is how i deal with mine, and the medicine is spread out. I pray you don't do something like suicide. also pray to the Lord and I will also pray for you as im sure others on here are doing.