I apologize ahead of time, as I am incapable of writing a little amount, but I also want to tell my story. I have read other peoples accounts, and there is comfort in knowing that I am not alone. I thought about posting this in another thread, but I felt it might be better if this was on its own.

In June of 2012, I suffered a work related injury. I was sitting in a chair speaking with a superior. I do call center work. I leaned back in a chair, all the way back, and the chair cracked and broke, which sent me falling towards the floor and my head hit a filing cabinet. From this very moment, nothing has gone right for me.

I was actually on a call when this happened, and I didn't feel anything so I went back onto the call. Five minutes taking the call, I started to lose my grasp of reality. I ended the call and told my supervisor I needed an ambulance. Eventually firefighters came. They looked me over, asked if I lost consciousness, which I didn't, and they stated while they didn't want me driving, they would not take me to the hospital...I wasn't that badly hurt.

I eventually went to the doctor the company wanted me to go to, and they stated I had a concussion. They gave me pain pills, I think like ibuprofen or something. I was gone for about 7 days and I felt fine. I went back to their doctor and he released me to work. No tests were done.

After a week back, I myself noticed that many tasks were harder, my memory was not really working, and I was easily angry. I was generally a patient person and after the accident I lost that. My performance went way down. I went from having the second highest quality on my team to the worst.

I went to their neurologist to address my concern. He told me that this was normal and could take 6 weeks before I could get better. I waited 8 weeks and was even worse. I started having concentration problems, balance, along with the memory issues, mood, light sensitivity, and my brain was hyper-sensitive. He stated that this was not a concussion but evidence of a pre-existing issue. I had an MRI done as well as an EEG. Neither showed any problems. The Neurologist indicated again it was a pre-existing issue, and when I told him 10 years prior I diagnosed with depression, he said my problem was depression. (he was fishing)

Let me tell you why I know it is not depression. I suffered with depression most of my life, closer to 25 years of my life. In 2005 I promised myself I would over come it and 3 years ago, I finally did. I deal with it here and there, but mostly I am not depressed. I know what depression for me feels like, and this is not depression.

I saw a Nurse Practitioner, and she cited that she felt it was depression. I asked her why, and she said because I have a low calm voice and a flat face...indicators I am depressed. No, it's called being serious about the moment.

So I saw a therapist, and in the first meeting, concluded I was not depressed, and even compared my symptoms to the clinical definition of it. Work was still very difficult for me and I kept having issues, now having fatigue (mental and physical) and complete disorientation. My work didn't care, because the Doctor's said I was fine. Eventually I got to a point where I "phased out" (as I called it). Basically, I would close my eyes, disconnect with the world around me and couldn't open my eyes for a few minutes. I knew then I was in trouble. The doctor's agreed, I needed time away from work. And I was on STD for 5 months.

In that time I saw a nueralpsycologist, that was paid by WC. After awhile, I saw through the tests...they were designed that even by random chance I could get right. I even pointed that out to them, but they didn't care. They stated that they believed I had asberger's syndrome, I was depressed, and I used the fear of my condition to overwhelm myself to make it worse. My therapist disagreed.

My therapist spoke with a lawyer friend of hers and introduced me that I had post concussion syndrome. I tried finding a lawyer to help me to get the right doctor to treat me. I did learn that the neurologist I saw and neuralpsycologist were working for the insurance company and were infamous for this sort of thing. But i didn't find a lawyer to help me. My personal doctor told me that getting on disability would be extremely difficult.

Most of my time on STD was spent staying on it. As soon as I got a note citing I couldn't work for 4 weeks, I had to get another one to say the same thing. What little money I had went away quickly. There was another doctor at the place I go to see my doctor, who decided (despite my therapist saying I wasn't) I was depressed and used a test that should be found in a cosmo, proved I was depressed and convinced me (through manipulation) to take an anti-depressant. It made the problem worse.

Finally after a few months, I found a Neurologist to help me. But my STD ran out, so I had to go back to work. This new doctor was more than willing to send me back, having done no test and any way to measure if I could do it, he just signed the paperwork to do it. I went back part time, 20 hours a week. Since being back, there were a number of things my employer didn't tell me until I broke a rule.

For instance, coming back to work parttime, I lost my medical benefit. I work for a company that is a subsidiary to a bigger company, and their rules are black and white. Despite having doctor's orders to go back to work, and being injured initially on the job site, I didn't have medical insurance. Of course, i went to the doctor a few times before I found out. My employer stated it was my responsibility to know that, and was my fault for not knowing.

They also required me, by some rule of the ADA, that if I missed any time from work related to my condition, I needed a doctor's note to come back. I missed work on December 26th. I just couldn't get out of bed. Because of this, I wasn't able to see a doctor until January 4th and go back to work on the 6th. Missed nearly two weeks of work which screwed with me financially. My work also stated it was my responsibility to know.

After about a month, I maneuvered myself to do 30 hours a week. My company actually considered that eligible for benefits, and thus I got my medical back. I then went back to the doctor. I had seen a physical, speech, and occupational therapist. I passed their tests...despite the number of breaks I needed and they cited I am fine. Of course I could pass their tests, I can do any activity for a short time and push myself to do it. Prior to this, I had chronic foot pain that i learned to live with and have done sports in the past, so I knew how to push past pain.

The doctor wanted me to continue with this therapy, even though that therapy said I only needed one more visit. I told him I couldn't afford it. I was still having problems at work, pretty much everything. I had no visual memory or visual imagination, I couldn't contextualize, I had difficulty thinking, I had vertigo, focus and concentration issues, headaches, and would phase out a lot, light and noise sensitivity, and was highly angry. I was still doing phone support. I took several breaks throughout the day.

Finally I told my doctor I needed medication to help take the edge of with my condition. He gave me a blood thinner called propranolol, which in low dosage can help with headache and anxiety, and tremors. BTW, I've had essential tremors since the age of 20, I am nearly 33 now. I've learned to live with it.

The medicine was amazing. I felt like I could breathe again. My visual memory returned, with my visual imagination. I was less dizzy, no longer phased out. I went from being at 60% on my best day to 80%. I still had memory issues. Doctor stated that I had Persistent Post concussion symptoms, and that I would eventually get better.

A month later, I told my doctor I needed to go to 40 hours. I thought it would be difficult to convince him. I did it for financial reasons, as my employer stated to charge my paycheck for insurance when I was on STD. He just signed off on the paperwork like it was his idea. He also increase my dosage. I started on 60mg and am now on 80mg. So I started doing 40 hours a week, 80mg of propranolol, and waking up 3 hours earlier (to avoid early morning rush hour).

Since then, my condition has been degrading. I am starting to phase out again, being dizzy, missing work (to which I've gotten written up for), headaches, concentration problems, sensitivity to light, loss of focus in my eyes (that is completely new). the more stressed out I am, the worse I get. After 4 days of work, I cannot function and need 3 days to recover.

How did I go from starting a new medication and getting better and increasing dosage and going back to how I was? My theory is, that this was a placebo effect I did to myself. I had so much hope in this medication helping me that my brain tricked myself, and I became relaxed with it and now the actual affect of the medicine is showing. I'm afraid to say that to a doctor, as they will likely say it is all psychological. Maybe it is, but I'm not convinced it is.

Right now I am trying to find a new neurologist, as I am certain this doctor now doesn't have my best interest at heart and will sign paper work on a whim and throw medicines at me. The one thing that kept me going was the belief that I would get better, but after nearly a year and reading this forums, I guess the best I can do is learn to live with it.