have not had the strength to do hardly anything lately..not even reading here where i felt at my best...i waited for well over 6 weeks since being diagnosed..when i finally got a return call from the sleep lab---they were on vacation..you see everybody deserves a vacation was there excuse..i can never win..always fall between the cracks or misplaced or error in filing etc.. the dr kept apologizing with every phone call i made--but never fixed the problem or told me they were on vacation..anyway..i got the machine at last. the same one as pamster.it did take a few days to get use to-- then it helprd alot for a few days--now seems to make me clostrophobic,sweaty, wake up every 2-3 hrs-even though i am breathing only through my nose when i swallow i have a weird feeling and my throat feels like it is closing up. sometimes i feel like a need a bib when i can't wake up fast enough to take the mask off my face to swallow and i drool all down my pjs..
i still feel so embarrassed and try to cover my head when i sleep so nobody sees me. i am sleeping on the couch so my fiance doesn't (a) see me (b) doesn't move around on the bed (c) he stays up very late(due to the fact he works nights and doesn't get home till after 1:30 am) and then does his e-bay job till 4-5am.
no matter what time i fall asleep i wake between 4-5am..am starving and thirsty..then try to get back to sleep before i have to get up to put my autistic brother off to program at 7am.... i then fall back to sleep by 9ish and proceed to sleep for about 4 hours..i have called the dr to see if this is normal but then nothing is normal for me..whatever normal is??? dr tells me to give it some more time..
still can't seem to turn my brain off and depression is getting worse by the second..between the depression,pain,anxiety,sleepiness..taking a shower is putting me into panic mode-- well...again thank you my friends for letting me vent and whine..and being there when i am at my lowest and cn't explain my feelings to anyone(cept my therapist--who tells me to give myself a break) hope everyone has a peaceful night or day of sleeping...moonstar (or falling moonstar)