thank you for your welcomes and brief intro's. i noticed right away that you have had functional assessments. i only learned about them by accident, and found out more when i was referred for an IQ test. you see, i suffered little damage to my verbal abilities, so people were reluctant or unable to believe that i had other damage.

so much is based on perception in a very limited environment. it was at home and traveling locally that my impairments revealed themselves the most. i was rarely able to initiate activities without prompting (of which i had none), and it was difficult for me to stop an activity once begun (like a jigsaw puzzle).

what the later testing revealed was severe memory damage... almost total lack of short term retention and long term recall. i manage to hide most of my symptoms from everyone except the people who help me with housework and travel. they see the real me, but they do not report to anyone.

today i have a "reassessment" interview with a psychiatrist, at an agency that has labelled me with Borderline Personality Disorder, because i refuse to be bullied and belittled by staff. i keep telling them it is PTSD, but they just act like i'm crazy.

i'm practically sick with anxiety over this appointment, fearful that my ride will not show up, that i will not be appropriately expressive, that the doctor will be disparaging and belittling. all these things have happened in the past, more than once, and recently. it's 4:00 in the morning and i should be sleeping, but it often helps me to talk with someone. only there is no one to talk with...

wish me well!
StormE1