I know your pain. I live it every day and have for 5 years now. I am so sorry. I know exactly how you feel. No one understands the physical and emotional pain of wanting to feel better. I wish I had an answer. I really do. I don't understand any of what has happened to me . I don't understand why these things happen but pray that one day I will understand all this and be able to help other people deal with the night-mere of chronic pain. All I can say is I am so, so sorry and that I understand the night-mere you are living right now.