Dear Coyote:

Kudo's to you for taking care of your elder(s)/Father. I grew up in a time when the family was never ever separated and our elders put in a nursing home - my culture is coming around to where our youth/youngers are now starting to care for their elders at home.

With your father's pain - how much can he do on his own? Can he walk/get around? Can he be a partner with you in combating the pain?

Stress is the worst thing for someone with Chronic Pain to deal with. Stress causes a whole host of different problems and will keep us in a "flare".

Try not to think about what may or may not happen next year, just get through the stress of today, deal with today - then tomorrow deal with tomorrow. I am going to steal AA's phrase of "one day at a time". If you worry about what will happen next year - then either it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy or it may happen and you will look back and say "this is not so bad....why did I worry about this so much".

I wish you all the best. Sorry to hear about your loss.

Take care of yourself, take a break - sit by yourself and make yourself a wonderful calming cup o' tea and relax.

Kim