Liza Jane:

His nurse practictioner should be shot!!!

I also have a friend who is going through stage 3 lung cancer that has spread to her brain and she has 3 more spots on her lung. She smoked for years, got emphasema, quit 8 years ago, but the damage was done.

But her biggest problem is not the cancer (believe it or not). It's her anorexia. She will not go over 100 lbs. You should have seen her in the hospital when they were trying to give her Ensure. She adamantly refused to drink it, or eat anything. Her mother is 83 and has given up. She won't take her in because "I refuse to see her die". Those were her exact words.
And her daughter (who is 37 years old and probably bi-polar), actually went into her hospital room and shouted at her sick mother "YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, DO YOU KNOW THAT, LOOK WHAT YOU'VE PUT ALL OF US THROUGH".

I have never seen such disfunction in all my life. Her own brother had to carry her out screaming and kicking because she was raging at her mother.

My poor friend is mentally ill, obviously, she's been in and out of eating disorder clinics all her life. She is the most giving, the most thoughtful person and once weighed 58 lbs. I never saw a living skeleton like that in all my life. But we can do nothing. She's had nutritionist over the house (while she was doing chemo). Even the nutritionist couldn't get through to her. Once (when she was having a good spell, and she could drive), we were having a conversation, and she actually asked me "Melody, how many calories are in a leaf of lettuce". I remarked: "Elaine, when you have to ask how many calories are in a leaf of lettuce, you need to be back in the hospital getting fed through a tube". She laughed and said "no, I am comfortable at my weight".And she weighed 98 lbs and is 5'4. I have accepted her for who she is and there's nothing I can do about it. It must be terribly frustrating for her family to see this happening and there's nothing anyone can do. I believe the anorexia will do her in before the cancer.

So all we can be are good friends for the people we support.

You have been just that to your friend.

All the best,
Melody