Matt have you considered that you might be clinically depressed? You probably know what that is -- where the chemicals and hormones in the brain are lacking, and have to be replaced by the medications, i.e. the antidepressants. That's what I have, and i've been on antidepressants for about 40 years now, and I'll be on them til I die.

I got off them once for a period of time, and I slipped into a depression that was the pit of hell. I just plain wanted to die. Trouble is, I didn't have the nerve to kill myself. So - back on the medication I went. I got off the meds because I was sick and tired of them -- but I learned that I have no other choice. I HAVE to be on the medication, it's as simple as that.

So perhaps that's your problem too. Talk with your doctor. He can refer you to a good therapist. Therapy was the best gift I ever gave myself. I've never regretted it. if you can't afford therapy, at LEAST go see your doctor! God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee