I'm 19, and while growing up, I had no friends. No real ones, anyway. I started self harming when I was in kindergarten. Everyone I have ever opened up to about that have turned away and simply thought I was lying to get attention.
So, now, I guess I'll just post it here, hope someone for once will actually care and not scream 'attentionseeker' in my face.
I've got anxiety, social anxiety, major depressions, OCD, etc., and it all started in kindergarten, when nobody would talk to me because I was 'different'. I'd have spasms, and people didn't like me for that. It continued till we got to school, then people started being a bit more friendly, until some of those kids started befriending me only to find out my most embarrassing secrets and exploit me in front of the whole school. I still can't trust people. They ruined me. And so did my teacher. She always pulled me up as a bad example, no matter how much work I did. She just didn't like me.
The ball has, since then, kept rolling, and my only comfort has been dogs. Now, for some reason, dogs aren't good enough. They don't make me smile anymore, and I'm afraid to admit this to anyone. My own dog have saved my life so many times just by coming into my room when I have been about to take my own life, when nobody else would answer my calls. It feels like my life is already over, and maybe it's for the best, but I can't help but think there are so many dogs out there that need me to stay and I feel obligated to stay and suffer through all that's coming. And the worst part is, I know it's coming. It always is.

I don't mean to whine to strangers, it just feels nice to get it all out in the open for once.