Hi my friend. I know exactly how you feel. I've suffered from severe depression since I was about 4 or 5 years old. My favorite place was in my bedroom, with the lights off, sitting in the dark, playing music. Even at that young age, I listened to Frank Sinatra sing his ballads. My parents didn't notice I was depressed -- they were too busy getting drunk.

I didn't get treatment until I was in my early twenties. Then, I went into therapy, and that was the best gift I could have given myself. It even included a 2 wk stay in a mental hospital where I signed myself in because I knew I was very very sick. Even that was very beneficial to me! I stayed in therapy for a very long time.

If there is any way for you to get into therapy, I would advise it. If you cannot, PLEASE see your medical doctor. He can help you too, by putting you on an antidepressant. Yes, I know that most people don't want to take medications, but there are those of us who HAVE to.

You may have "clinical depression" which is where the hormones & chemicals are lacking in the brain and have to be replaced by the antidepressant. Only a doctor can diagnose this. This is what I have, and I'll be on meds the rest of my life. Talk to your doctor -- you'll be glad you did. Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee