Hey Artist, THANKS!!!

Well, hoist fitting went okish actually. It's not pleasant but the OT has been really kind and gentle - she had spent hours searching for the least painful and most supportive sling she could find. It is amazing what a difference it makes - before I had only used horrible ones. Admittedly, it's not like floating on a cloud - but a great improvement on sitting on rocks! Even the training wasn't that bad - the OT decided it would be good if my carer and all my friends learnt how to use it - so today Leah and Ben (yes... that Ben! dammit, why won't he get the idea? he told me today he was so glad he met me as we are 'best friends' - can't wait for the voodoo to take effect on his girlfriend...) got shown and she will come back and show more if needed - or let Leah or Ben show other people. It's not that complicated really - which is good! The OT is lovely, and whilst she checked that the hoist would fit in to the bathroom and over the toilet she understands that I won't be using it in there unless I TOTALLY have to, so it could be worse.

I love uni. I have awesome friends and in general the course is interesting. I would never consider giving it up. I am willing to suffer more pain through being here, and what is there to say I wouldn't have deterioated anyway? I have been deterioating since I developed RSD - but I have to continue with my life. No offense to anyone, but personally, i have to TRY and distract myself and it is better for me to be occupied. I think this year has been a steep learning curve - it is hard learning to live with other people. Before I came to uni I was trusted to work on my own - so if I was having a bad day/ week then I was trusted to get on with the work in bed at home. At uni you are "on call" 24 hours a day pretty much. Also, noise sends my pain levels sky high - and whilst at home it was pretty silent in halls of residence.. it's not!! If I am ever to get a job then I have to complete this course. I guess, it's just being a student and RSD exarcebate each other - no sleep = RSD, no sleep = student, stress = RSD, stress = student, too much noise/ light/ stimuation = upset RSD = normal student etc etc etc!

I will get through this and I do love it. It's just hard to stay positive at the moment when it feels like I'm going downhill - and admitting to myself that hoisting is becoming part of my reality. It makes me scared because before this I have always been "normal", stayed over friends houses, gone on holiday with them, been treated just as "me" but on wheels and with dead arms - but it's never been an issue. Friends have treated me the same as everyone else, but just not minded feeding me, dressing me, doing my transfers or any of that rubbish. I guess it feels like it "ties me down" or something. Or maybe it's just a new reality that, like any new reality, will take a while to get used to!

I am planning on bringing positive Frogga out now, I've had enough of complaining - others have far more going on in their lives, and when I critically examine it, I'm lucky. I have great friends, great family, I am able to take this course and to study.

Thanks Artist - you are the best!

love ya

Froggsy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx