Jim, I can sympathize and understand..Sometimes it is hard to accept the things pd has taken from us..It's hard and it often hurts to have expectations, cuz this disease has an agenda of it's own too..Many of us dont want to be alone, while others have no choice in the matter..Intimate relationships are something many of us want, but there comes point where the expectations and the dynamics of those kinds of relationships become complicated, and stresssful..Speaking for myself, if those kinds of emotions get out of control, they become poison to my illness, and I cannot function, cuz whatever I feel emotionally will manifest itself in me physically, and put me down like I got hit with a ton of bricks

Living in peace with pd for me, has been trying to the best of my ability, to adopt an attitude of accepting the things I cannot change, rather than trying to change the things I cannot accept

I dont practice what I preach with perfection by any stretch of the imagination..I still have hopes and dreams too..What I cant have are expectations..For me expectations become a pre-meditated resentment..Like drinking poison, and hoping the other guy dies

I try to focus on where God needs me to be now, also not an easy task either, because my self will tends to dictate and sidetrack me on numerous occasions

I hope things work out for you, and that you find peace and happiness