Hi sweet Bizi

you are not crazy. you are stressed out because you dislike being alone. if you were strong in every single area of your life, then you would be inhuman.

you are human and try your best and right now i am really proud of you for sticking with the fitness and ... WELL DONE for staying without alcohol even though going through this patch with Jeff gone.

it is easy to trade one addiction for another. but alcohol is a much more harmful one so it's still an improvement. besides that, there's no telling if there's really a trade here ... had you been drinking tonight, and recently you might have been spending all that time on the computer anyway. you would not have been as self conscious about it, or worried about it, because the alcohol would have lowered your inhibitions.

i don't know if you are awake, but i am and if you want to talk i am here.

love you

waves