Member
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: in MS land
Posts: 186
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Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: in MS land
Posts: 186
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For some reason, I don't have this resistance to asking for help. I have problems finding it, but I don't have problems asking for it.
I'm also an independent person, but I'm not sure why I don't feel it's bad to need a little help. I think I have a kind of community attitude, where everyone helps each other with whatever we may need, that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts, that we each have something unique to contribute and so by helping one another and building each other's strengths and offsetting the things we might lack a bit of, we all benefit. To me, it isn't so much an idea of being helpless as it is that EVERYONE needs a little help in some area and we should all trade back and forth what we are able to do to help one another.
So I just don't feel it's a sign of weakness to need others, and I don't mind asking people for help. I'm often frustrated because I don't get the help I need, but I don't consider it a matter of pride to need it at all. Not sure why I feel that way considering I am independent. I guess because I see how many things I can't do without the help of others, and I want to do those things. So it just makes sense that I rely on others for things that I can't do myself anymore. And yes, I do think too that other people benefit from helping as well so I guess I don't think of it as taking away from someone else.
It was interesting. I was on a train the other day. The guy right next to me fell asleep and began to snore. It made me realize how arbitrary our "societal" rules are sometimes. I mean, it was ok for him to snore. Ok, so the people around him might not be too amused but it was still in the acceptable realm, no one was going to wake him or make a rude comment to him about it.
But I wondered how we would have felt if his foible was being gassy. What if he would have expelled loud farts the entire time? Not smelly ones, just loud ones? Or loud repetitive burps? I don't think we would have been so forgiving and I think someone probably would have said something to him. Likewise, what if his stomach was growling incessantly? I also don't think we would have been so understanding, I think someone would have at least commented about it to him.
But for some reason, snoring in public didn't warrant a comment or a dirty look from anyone.
I wonder why that is, why some things are more acceptable than others even though none of them are within our control. I think sometimes our society 'standards' don't make a lot of sense.
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