You need hope and I will give it to you! I was you starting on September 11th, 2011. A concussion is a brain injury, even though many people use the terms separately. I was told that it would go away overnight...one day I would wake up and it would be 100% gone. Not true for me! I continued to hope but knew deep down that it would not happen despite the doctor telling me that repeatedly.

It took a good while for me to understand that there would be healing, and it would be slow. The first year was extremely difficult with some moments of hope, but not many. It took a very long time to understand what was injured, and what I could do about it. It sounds as if you have made progress that way.

I have youngish children (7 and 10 when the accident happened) so I understand that too. It is hard on them and on any family members that care (doesn't seem to bother the ones that don't care).

It is lonely, isolating, difficult, hellish, boring, frightening, painful, scary, challenging, etc. I am still struggling to find a way to describe the experience. I am trying to validate how you are feeling because it is such a deeply, fundamentally challenging injury.

The good news is that the brain heals, but it is the slowest part of the body to heal. It is glacial. There are inexplicable setbacks. But you will feel better in the future and regain important parts of your life. I have learned to measure my progress in 5 - 6 month chunks, because it is not day-to-day improvement like other injuries.

I have been able to take up more of my work, although not some important aspects of it like teaching, and I still have a deep fatigue, which is very common after a brain injury as the brain has made new pathways that take up more energy for the same task as you previously did it.

But it does get better. You need to review all of the good advice on this board when you can. Vision therapy is going to be important, vestibular therapy, etc. Neuroplasticity is what will make you better. Small small small steps to retrain the brain. balance. vision. hearing. hyperacusis. etc. baby steps will get you there.

Most of my therapies started after I passed what I felt was the acute stage...about 7 months into the injury. I was then able to try little bits of therapies (vision, vestibular, etc.). I can see progress in this areas.

You will grieve, I am sure. Lots of grieving. For lots of things. For simple things and complex things. One example of the ridiculous....I grieved not being able to bend down quickly and tie my shoelaces as I was running out the door. Not a big deal, but I had to acknowledge it and say goodbye. Spinning on my swivel stools. Again, not a big deal, but it is gone. Loss of who I was, friends who abandoned me, family members who have not asked once how I am doing, playing squash, dancing, enjoyment of music, etc. Grieving is important.

You will get better but it will probably take time. I went to my son's band concert last night was able to sit through his parts (with earplugs). I could not have done that 6 months ago.

I went to a restaurant with my brother's family last week. I could not have done that 6 months ago.

I am typing on a computer. I could not have done that very well 6 months ago. Prisms in my lenses made a HUGE difference for that.

I have made some academic presentations at conferences. Not as well as I used to do them, but I did them.

So there is hope. I feel for you and there are many people on this board who have experienced what you have. Many people have much worse and many people are not as bad. But injuring a brain in so different from any other injury because we are our brain, and it is where all feelings, hopes, pains, thoughts, reason, etc. comes from.

hang in there!
m