I don't think a discussion of anger necessarily belongs in another thread -- I started this thread with the idea that MS "breaks down the walls of our pride," turning previous notions of pride upside down. Making us consider the idea that pride may be a wall which we use to keep other people from getting too close. For me, MS has had the same shaking-up effect on my ideas of anger.

I'm 55. When I was growing up, the idea that it was ok for boys to allow anger to manifest openly in fist fights, competitiveness, arguing, and dominance, and not ok, or even natural, for girls to do the same was part of the fabric of society. It was only when I was struggling with MS that I realized that not only was I feeling anger because my life was being stolen from me by a process that was a force of nature (and therefore not a matter of choice), but that anger was a perfectly rational response to such a situation. I had to find a way to keep my anger from poisoning my life and negatively impacting the lives of others. For me, that meant bringing my anger out in the open in a way that didn't hurt others, yet acknowledged my humanity. My way of doing this is by openly acknowledging my anger of my situation to myself and others; this is the only way I can keep it from "eating me alive." Yes, sometimes I have open outbursts of anger, shout that I hate what this **#!! disease is doing to me, weep with rage, write angry poetry. At times I allow others close enough to see my anger. On the other hand, my anger has not turned toxic, poisoning me with the anger turned within: depression. Expressing my anger in non-aggressive ways allows me to move on.

Anger is a normal human emotion. Anger at what MS is doing to me is a normal and even appropriate response. Only when I deny and repress it, force it within and keep it trapped there, does anger poison me and eventually scald the people I love.

Chris