I just got a letter yesterday from my neuro that he's retiring. It's okay. I went to a pain doc last week and she was close to my age and spent a ton more time actually talking to me instead of pushing meds.

He's getting a little better now that there is more daylight, but he flat out refuses to help with things even if I'm screaming and crying (like with food mostly, because I need to eat something good). At least my daughter is learning to cook and has been helping cut things.

Something I'm realizing is that I'm really unemotional about a lot of things. I have to be like this or otherwise I'll be a lunatic. I am not getting upset at things I should be, which is kind of good because I can't stress myself. But I'm also not enjoying anything either. I rarely laugh. I think this might be part of the reason he doesn't seem to think anything is important. Or is that just my messed up view of things right now? I want to get mad, but it hurts me too much to have to deal with a fight.

And yeah, other people see the fact that he will NOT listen. They've pointed it out to him. I have been a little more vocal about that. I need to be a lot more.

He's on full time dad duty now that school is out. I need to make him more lists of stuff to do.