Dear Di,

You write beautifully about mothers.
My mother does all those things you mention. She was a stay at home mom until I was a teenager. Dad was away in the military. ...So half the time, we had no dad with us.
And she did pass on a sense of independence. I am grateful for that.
She is educated but had a horrible childhood that she doesn't talk about.
When her mother was dying in the hospital for two months, she did not get on a plane to go visit her and her brothers and sisters.

Well, and my mother never helped me with spring cleaning.
I moved away when I was 17.

When I was out of a job because of bipolar she and Dad sent me rent money so that I would have a place to stay. They kept sending the money even after I got some low paying jobs.

I guess I have many memories with my mother but none of them are happy ones. She was trying hard to stay sane herself -- and she mostly accomplished that.

She passed onto me a huge sense of responsility and a need to take care of people -- I've been trying to shake this since my early 20s and making some progress.

I'm sad. And I am sad that I can't explain very well what is wrong right now. I do have some happy memories from childhood -- they involve my sister and brothers.


Perhaps I am freaking out because Dad says that they might visit me on Labor Day weekend in Sept. The last time they visited me about 15 years was not so good.
I saw them at their place last summer with hubby. The visit was so bad that I decided not to go back.

You are kind to write to me in the midst of your own trials.



M.