I think opening the door to your son about having some sort of autism spectrum disorder would be extremely benneficial to him.

Considering he is "higher functioning" according to his teachers/doctors/etc. he should be able to relate to other people and their expereinces.

If your son is able to meet people on the spectrum, whether in a in group session or a forum on the internet, I hink he will be better able to understand himself and be a bit more aware to what is going on and what he can do for himself.

From what I know about ASD, and the symptoms I show as well as the more prominet symptoms family members show, it definitely sounds like ASD. Granted, it sounds like other issues are going on at the same time like maybe anxiety and/or mood (not to mention physical) but it sounds like the underlysing issue is ASD. Which most teens/young adults present as a "bad lad" as higher functioning people because they are so widely misunderstood and overlooked.

I don't have a lot of answers, but I can say I understand and think you are doing the right thing about looking for answers and treatment. Although I do think you should include your son on the issues.

Best regards,
Sweets