Met with the neuro again yesterday. We removed the Topomax all together; his concern also being first it didn't seem to be doing a dang thing. The sinimet actually stopped the shaking a lot. I actually was in there for an EMG test still in search of another elusive answer. He also is not happy about the August appointment and is trying to pull some strings to get me in sooner. He had me do a few more dx tests that he typically does with a new patient and he's still convinced; the fact that the sinimet is helping is only supporting that with his dx.

We've done the Fuhrman diet. Completely vegetarian for the last 8 months. I lost 30 pounds with it; which is awesome. Stress is always high, of course that has come up; so we've remodeled the lifestyle as such to reduce the risk and try to improve that as much as possible. I exercise 20 minutes on the elliptical 3x a week and now swimming when it doesn't rain. Sleep schedule as well has been strictly regimented as I get up at 4:45; I go to bed by 8:30. I met with a lifestyle coach in an attempt to try and see if we can fix this issue that direction as well. This has not been an overnight process. Somewhere around 3 years before I even saw the nuero. Nothing's vanished

As for the B12. That was where this whole journey started. When I started getting vertigo, I went to my General who did a workup and found out that I was completely bottomed out on my B12. I asked, well do I take vitamins, duh. Never knew anything about how bad that could be ever until recently. At any rate. Took my shots, went back in to get checked and it straightened out enough to get to only have one shot a month. Everything came back full force; levels checked again. Bottomed out again. So, I have to take shots every 2 weeks for B12 just to keep that part straight. The general stays on that one pretty good.

Problem is, even when levels are fine, I still have vertigo etc. That could be inner ear etc; MRI ruled that out. This whole tremor thing is new. Stress of course is in the mix as a cause, but because of some of the involuntary things I apparently do, the falling, the reactions of the muscles and the stiffness they are feeling in certain areas of my body, they want to get this motion disorder area ruled out first I suppose.

My mom passed at 50; She had MS (yes, that's been ruled out). She was depressed of course and she had a host of things wrong with her. When she died, my mom was on 20 different Rx medications. 20. She took each and every one of those daily. I understand why. The need not to hurt to try and be a part of things again and not the anchor. I get it, but I'm NOT going there if I can help it.

As of today, I daily take 2. I take the B12 every 2 weeks. I have a host of pain medications that I almost guarantee you are worth a small fortune on the black market that I keep for days I just simply give in. I CAN'T be my mom. Sinimet scares the HELL out of me. In fact, anything to do with this brain stuff scares me like there's no tomorrow. BUT, if the only way to find this answer is by process of elimination then I guess that's what I have to do.

In the meantime, when I meet someone and they stare at my hand, I reach out I grab their hand for a hand shake and I say to them, "Don't worry, it's the easiest hand shake you'll ever have in the world. I'll do the work for you." And I smile.

I've got no choice at this point but to trust the doctors.