I am so sorry...no one should EVER make you feel this way. Sometimes extended family...people who don't really know you that well...really struggle to comprehend what it is that we go through. This can be made especially difficult if you ARE the sort of person who tries to be very independent and push through things. They have no idea how much effort it takes to do even the smallest task...let alone the big ones. And while I would never make excuses for your husband's dad and his girlfriend...it IS hard for them to really get it even when they try (and I don't think they are trying in your case).

But your husband...talk about someone who needs a kick in the behind and a smack to the head. HE should know better because HE should know you well enough to understand (at least partially) what you are going through. I really don't think anyone who doesn't have RSD can fully understand what we go through...just as I don't think I could really understand what it feels like to be someone with a terminal illness who knows they will die soon. We can say we understand things and we can really try to put ourselves in someone else's shoes...but it's not the same as experiencing it. But it doesn't even sound like your husband is trying.

I know that my RSD has an impact on the lives of everyone around me. I try NOT to be a burden but sometimes I know I am. More so than other people (like your brother in law and the others you mentioned)? I don't think so. So long as you do the best you can that's all anyone can ask. And if it's not enough to the point where someone else feels the need to make you feel lousy and guilty for things that are beyond your control...then maybe you need to seriously rethink the relationship. Maybe it's just a rough patch...something you guys need to work through. But the only way you will be able to work through it is by being open and honest with each other about what is really going on. I know it sucks...I reached that point with my boyfriend about a year before I was injured. Something wasn't quite right...he was making me feel crappy...we just had to work through it. We did and now things are wonderful and better than ever. When my RSD got worse he was with me all the way...a perfect mix of support and love who helps me out when I need it but doesn't make me feel broken. He pushes me to do what I need to so that I am better and stronger...but not in a way that makes me feel bad or guilty...in a way that makes me feel stronger. But we never would have gotten here if I had just gone on feeling crappy and never brought up that something was wrong. It was difficult and uncomfortable...and I knew there was a chance I would lose him...but sometimes you have to risk the losing to chance the winning because the bottom line is that if things continue as they are right now...you are both losing anyway.

Take care of yourself. Hugs.