Scared gal,
You have every right to be your own advocate. You have every right to ask questions. Over coming your fear of the dentist and feeling empowered is truly positive and of course you will hopefully continue to feel this way. However, it sounds like you become easily defensive and accusational when you are confronted with something you are unsure about. This type of attitude can have a boomerang affect because it is sure to put the accused on the defensive.
You state how respectfully and kind this dentist has treated you. But you want to tell him off for the dental care that he has provided when you have little to no knowledge about dentistry. There may be an anatomical reason why that new filling is flat and it may have to do with your bite. He can only shape a filling according to what that filling is biting against or you could end up with a severe toothache if the filling does not fit in with your existing bite. Why not just ask him nicely?
Regarding "your choice" of doing an onlay or a crown. How can you possibly decide which of those things is in your best interest when you do not even know why one would be done instead of the other? An onlay can only be placed on a tooth that has substantial healthy tooth structure remaining to hold the onlay or the area of the tooth that is not covered by the onlay will fracture off. A crown is necessary when there is not enough tooth structure to hold an onlay. There are other reasons why one restoration would be suggested over the other which your dentist would be able to explain to you if you asked him.
I will tell you from my lengthy professional experience in the dental field..... most of us will go out of our way to be kind, respectful and compassionate with ALL patients and often extend ourselves a bit further for those who are frightened. However, that does not open the door for the patient to treat us aggressively or disrespectfully in return. None of us take well to patients who behave that way as it becomes too draining to deal with that patient. Certainly you can understand how important it is to have a mutual respect between the doctor and the patient in moving forward with your care.
I respectfully offer you this information with hope that you can continue to over come your fears and move forward in a positive manner.
I wish you all the best.
Bryanna
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Originally Posted by ScaredGal
ok I am overcoming 47 years of fear and now that I am able to deal with this I can't go back to my old ways ,if I could I would , I had a small filling done , and what he did was grind off a flat spot of the tooth and did not reshape it and this bugs me , I am about to have a crown done or a 3/4 onlay ( I also feel this is up to me if it should be a full crown or an onlay not his choice but mine) anyway this small filling has me questioning his skills , if he takes the easy way out with this small filling how on earth can I trust him with a more complex job ( I need to have total trust , not just blind faith ) now I told him if i need a root canal i will have the tooth extracted by the oral surgeon and his assistant looked at me and said a root canal is not that bad , i looked at her and said , listen , it is not an option and it's not going to happen , so anyway i am going in on the 19th to have a small surface stain removed and i am going to have a long talk with him about what i feel , i have never ever been one to hold back what is on my mind , if i offend him so be it , it's my mouth and it's my money , hard earned i might add , also i am telling him if during the work he finds i need a root canal to stop all work and i will have it removed , i have told friends my feelings and about the talk i am going to have with him and there reaction is , you can't talk to a dentist that way ,, i say that is bull , you question your auto repair guy and tv repair man , so where is it written you don't question a dentist on his skills , am i wrong here or just a total nut job ,, well i am a nut job but that's beside the fact ,,, but to just do what a dentist says and not question him on every aspect of this goes against my grain
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