I am so fed up with having to leave family functions and special events early or not being able to go because of this disease! I feel like I am being punished or something and I don't know why. I don't understand. I miss out on so much so many outings with my daughter where someone else has to take her because I can't and I just can't take it anymore. My doctor just lowered my pain medicine and I have been in so much pain the last few days sometimes I feel like I might pass out. I am scared that he won't change it back. I have been told there is no more hope for me and there is nothing more anyone can do for me. And now I think it is spreading to my right leg too. I don't know how I am going to get through this. I don't want the rest of my life to be like this. I can't do this. I live in a small town and don't even know how to find another doctor or if I even should. I wish I had family or anyone really who was there for me to tell me it is going to be ok and to support me.