Thanks to everybody for their considered and empathetic responses. Mark, I have been following you a little bit, and, even though I will probably never meet you, you really are an inspiration and your quote from Psalm 46 is one of my favorites.

I'm not exactly a type A personality; maybe a type B+!

You see, about 20 years ago, I had a nervous breakdown, and was on disability for four years. Though not the same as now, it was similar in that my brain didn't function that well. At some point I decided that I wanted happiness like everyone else and to love and be loved. Though I wasn't "100%" when I re-entered the workforce in 1996, over time I learned to deal with how my illness changed me, and re-learned some things that had gotten harder.

At some point, I considered myself *healed,* and I did learn to let some things go...

The memory of 20 years ago has given me some faith; I've done it before, and I can do it again.

Though it's not fun to be in the middle of it, when I am at my more optimistic I think it is giving me the gift of knowing I am loved for who I am, and not how my mind functions.

That thought is not easy to hold onto, though.

Your suggestion about keeping your hands busy is a good one. Since I fell, I have redecorated/ renovated/ repainted my bedroom and bathroom. If I wake up with a headache or not feeling so hot, I can look at those rooms and feel a real sense of accomplishment.

And, as I said in my first post, the fall I suffered might have killed me if I had hit the pavement, and I am incredibly thankful to God it didn't.