Keep saying over and over.... this too shall pass..... I have felt like you do at times in my life. Pain, depression, loss of job, family, security. There is pain in every life. You have kids, you may not be what you were, but you can be happy again. Listen to "Sting" "Dylan" put some soul back into your life to draw upon. Distract yourself, pick out tiny things that are still good for you. Your life is worth fighting for. Take B12. Do tia chi, talk here. Do what ever you have to do to bring meaning and hope into your life. See the sister site of Neuro Talk. They have more people suffering with this kind of depression. There may be more people to respond to you. Sam. I felt like you do, I really did, I lost a daughter and a grandson. Life is worth living even with physical loss, and emotional loss. Get some good council, and know I will be here any time to talk to. I am not a professional. Just some older woman who has been through a few very difficult things. I go for council myself, and am glad I do. I take anti-depressants, see my doctor, and fight like crazy to keep stable. I am not saying it is easy. None of life is easy. Your children are worth the effort and so are you. I will be here. You can PM me anytime. Keep hope alive, know that one person cares what happens to you. Don't do it, it is a permant thing to a tempory issue. This can get better. ginnie