I went to bed last night thinking about you. Your system is different than ours regarding medicine. However there may be someone on NT who is from UK that may know a doctor willing to listen. You were not like this before this medication.? May I ask what your frame of mind was when they put you on this med?, and tell me what the medicaiton is? I am pretty good at research, and can found out exactly what the dangers are with this medicaiton. Perhaps I can find proof that these types of bad reactions happen, which you can then present to your physician. You have a family and yourself to fight for. Allow me to help in this small way, and I will see what I can find out.
What is your DX? What have they told you, that you have? In my opinion, when doctors just shoo you away, or blow you off, that is against the oath they take when they become doctors. the frirst of those oaths is to "Do No Harm"
Your doctors need to be reminded of that.
Emotions can come back, feelings can come back, joy can come back, fun with your kids can come back. I believe this. You need the proper help and then I think you can start to recover. Depression is temporary, and so are bad thoughts. Thoughts can change, our brains are wonderful organs. Keep in touch Samantha, you are in my prayers this morning. ginnie