I visited a local DRX9000 huxster and from the get-go, was overwhelmed with the shady way they conducted business. The whole "you may not qualify" thing stunk to high heaven. The old "take away" routine. While I do understand that this "treatment" may be contraindicated for some people, there would be no point in making such a huge thing out of that. Just tell them and let it go. But I heard this over and over again.

At one point, the salesman (not the chiropractor himself, but a hired gun who looked every bit the part of a used car salesman) told me that less than one in five who apply are accepted. I had responded from a huge full-page ad in the local paper. The salesman told me that especially after the "doctor" writes an "article" like that, they get a lot more patients than they can possibly handle. He told me they even had to "rip the phones out of the office" and now have their phones answered exclusively by an outside service. Interesting, since I've since contacted them twice by phone using the number on the paper they gave me when I left the office.

Like others, I was told that I was getting a free examination worth $265 (how something can be worth $265 if no one ever pays for it was not explained). The exam consisted of the usual hocus pocus, stand on one leg, move this way, palpate here, knock your knee there, being sure to say "good, good" from time to time. They value that at $265? I've had more complete examinations from chiropractors at the State Fair for free!

They told me that I was not the worst patient, but that they prefer to treat patients with more serious problems. However....I was in luck because they also take into consideration a patient's level of "motivation" (i.e., how willing he is to part with his money). I was told that if I was sufficiently motivated, they might consider taking me despite the fact that I am not in a wheelchair.

However, in order to proceed further, and access the free exam, I had to first agree that I would have an MRI done at a place of their choosing. They are very "picky" about where they have the MRI's done, and he wowed me with a lot more hocus pocus about how some places don't follow their doctor's strict protocol, because it takes longer than the standard MRI, so they can't push as many people through in a day.

He explained that normally, I would pay $4000 for this special MRI, but the doctor has generously agreed to let me use his special doctor's discount, and therefor the doctor won't make a dime off the MRI himself, and it would only cost me $500. (You can pay cash for an MRI and have one done for that, or perhaps even less, although it is true that some hospitals do charge $2-3,000, especially if they are billing insurance). They repeatedly side-stepped the issue of cost, and when I recognized that they did not want to tell me, I understood that it was because it was gonna be huge and they need to warm me up to that, sell me on the severity of my problem, get me to say I am "motivated", etc.

I agreed to have the MRI done, simply because I wanted to get that done anyway, and then I would have the MRI (it is saved to a CD) which I could shop around to other doctors, chiros, etc..

After collecting my $500 and letting me have my free exam, they made an appointment for me to return in a few days. They told me the appointment they put me down for was the "only one available"! I said, "What, for the rest of the year?" "Well, no, but we want to get you back in as soon as possible." Whatever, lol. The time worked for me so I took it. They laid the line on me about needing to have my wife accompany me for the return visit. They aren't going to medicate me. They're just going to go over the "MRI reports" with me and make a determination as to whether I can "qualify", so why do I need my wife? Obviously, because they want to eliminate the "I need to talk to my wife first" objection. Like car salesmen, they know that once you leave the lot, you are very unlikely to return, and it is important to get you to sign immediately.

The machines were plainly visible to everyone visiting the office, including people on them being "treated." Isn't that a HIPPA violation? What about patient privacy? I couldn't help but notice the abundance of colorful lights and dials and buttons. Looked like the bridge of a movie starship, and obviously intentionally so.

I am looking forward to my visit. I love screwing with unethical people like this. I'm going to let them spend their time explaining the MRI for me (that benefits me). Then listen to their sales pitch as if I'm considering it, and really suck them in. Only then will I start to ask my intelligent questions. If I object too soon, they may just consider it a loss and let me go. But once they invest their time and emotions and think they have a sale, they are really motivated to close the deal and I love to watch them dance at that point.

I'll ask them about the poor people who don't qualify, and whether that is because they are not "motivated" to spend the money, or if they are DQ'd for some other reason. Of course they will claim it is another reason, and tell me again about how they don't have enough slots for all the people who want it. To which I'll say that in that case, I wouldn't feel right taking up a slot when there are people who need it worse than I do.

What a crock! If they couldn't offer the treatment to all the people who were demanding it, they would expand their office, or someone else would quickly open another office to take those people's money! How stupid do I look?

A couple of other bizarre observations. Every woman in the office wore a black dress. Not the same style, like a uniform. But like the chiropractor has a thing for women in black dresses. Very Stepford Wives. Also, they offered huge platters of cookies, brownies, and candy bars for their potential customers. Uhm, is this a health practitioner? Offering junk food?

I'm glad I found this board, where I have been able to confirm my suspicions and instincts. I'll post again after my return visit next week.