This is the place you should feel free to vent such things. Sometimes I wonder who else but us (with rsd/crps) can really understand these feelings.
Sorry, for delayed response I was sedated for nerve block.
I think we must all be so tough to endure this.
I feel like just like this sometimes and then it is all I can muster to pull myself out of it.
I can't imagine what it's like to fight cancer and bless those who do!
But every treatment for us is a "stab in the dark" or considered experimental.
One doctor just the other day (regarding colonoscopy) told me that the rsd won't directly kill me, I just may wish it did but, cancer can, howeveer it can be prevented.