I hate the fatigue and fatigability that comes with MS. I started PT this week and I'm so saddened by the changes in my abilities. He did some testing and I wore out so quickly. Simple things like standing on one leg and lifting myself up and down wore me out in less than a minute. It was so difficult to do it on my left leg and I couldn't even do the 10 reps he wanted me to do. I had to stop and rest and then try again. My right leg was much better. We talked about how quickly my muscles fatigue and he said he's not sure if it will get better as it's neurologically based.

I am going to work on it though and he said that I will see some improvement but overall I will always have muscles that fatigue rapidly. This is so frustrating and irritates me so much. I see a wheelchair in my future and losing more of my independence.

I can no longer drive more than a mile or two as my leg gets tired. I can't stay in one position for too long as it hurts too much to do so. And, I get so tired of all of this and it really makes me mad sometimes.

I hate that I can't go out and have a normal job. I am fortunate to have the medical background and skills to be able to do some medical transcription from home. But, sometimes it is too much for me to sit for that long typing and sometimes my hands have a mind of their own and the tremors cause me to hit wrong keys and my cognition sometimes makes me type completely wrong words. It's funny and yet it's not.

That's my whine for the day.