When my uncle was in the hospital here dying of heart disease he was in so much pain that my parents tried so hard to get him some help. Unfortunately it was too late and although I didn't go in to see him afterwards my sister shared that he looked awful and even after death he had a terrified look to his face. It was a hard way to go not being able to breathe.

Then my BIL was diagnosed with cancer many years later and hubby and I worked very hard to get him out of the hospital setting and into hospice when it was getting close. He had a wonderful 2 weeks there and they brought him anything he wanted. He was actually happy believe it or not. My hubby was able to stay with him for as long as he wanted to rather than be dictated to about visiting hours. When it was near the end the nurse asked hubby if he thought that his time had come and if he was ready. He was in a coma and had been for 2 days. He was in alot of pain and had fought a hard battle. So just like that he died very peacefully and I thanked the nurse for all that she had done for him, not just that day but everyday.

Next it was mom who had a stroke and we watched her deteriorate. The docs told us that she would be blind, not able to eat, paralyzed and many other problems. She would need to be put in a nursing home and that was the last thing she would have wanted. She had talked about this many times as Huntingtons runs in the family and we had a couple of uncles in nursing homes when their family could no longer handle their care at home. Her last moments after they took the breathing tube out were very peaceful as they too had given her morphine for "pain control"

If I had to choose which way to go would I choose struggling to breathe in a hospital bed or peacefully falling asleep? Well I guess I would have to say help me go gentle into that night. It should be something that families could discuss before it comes to a crisis that way everyone would know their wishes and could do all they could to help them along the way...Sue