As of this date I am still trying to be a nurse. Each day is harder then the last.... the upper management does not understand patient acuity (how ill and or how many it takes to care for each patient) today I was told to call off a LPN-C for the night shift @ 9am. This was against my old nurse better judgment, we had only 3 patients on the floor at that time HOWEVER one was a total mechanical lift, one was demanding, wanting something every minute or two more to see people then for true wants or needs. And the other 2 required 2 staff to ambulate....
So about 4pm the flood gates open up The 1st admit is another mechanical lift, has many open wounds needs to be fed, is also dependent on staff to do basic cares (turn clean up etc.) This also requires 2 staff to do. The next patient was a very nice but VERY confused 90 year old lady with pneumonia and small blood clots in her lungs. We put her in a room that I can oversee while doing the admission paperwork, entering medications verifying those same medications. I did turn a bed alarm on her to give me a "heads up" should I be focusing on the computer instead of the patient (so hard to get the computer work done with out focusing on computer: Good-Luck:) Last patient is a rather heavy set my again very nice lady with a fractured pelvis. All three of the admits have at least 17 pages of orders The DON was notified of the fact that the night shift would be VERY short staffed, "They will be ok" At 8pm my shift was finally at and end yet another 14 hour day with no breaks, lunch was had at 5:30 pm at the aforementioned computer.
And the higher ups wonder why nurse turn over is so high. Just so tired of working here there and everywhere in the facility...
Still waiting to hear my blood results..... Saw my own provider yesterday for some concerns, this clinic visit was questioned my the infection control nurse and human resources "why would she need to do that?? I also relayed the fact that I am just not able to find my way out of this pit... Of course he voices concern this am when he finds me as the charge nurse... "Are you ok to work? Have you talked to the shrink? My therapist? How is your pain today? and finally "I will keep praying for you"

The last helps, as well as the fact he is a personal friend as well as my caregiver, and my coworker
The kind caring attitude of my employer, my spouse and other non-nursing staff is killing me. I wonder if I can take disability due to my pain, my depression and my just plain reaching my limit on the burnout scale

Just so tired of it all