No expert here...but I think I can empathize.

I dealt with a diabetic spouse who had PTSD as well. I left in the fall, and started a new life. It was hard to do...so I hear you.

I can't tell you what to do.
I left my state, my home, my friends, and started over. I watched other friends try to do it by staying local...and they never quite made it work. It took a long time to gather the resources, and the courage...but here I am.

I try not to look back or regret (I know...MUCH easier said than done!)

But I think it's like walking. You have to take steps to get anywhere...and right now I am focused on what I want in my future. Let yourself feel what you need to. Grief doesn't have a clock, or a time limit.

Good luck to you...and I wish you well!