Quote:
Originally Posted by Brambledog
Right. I'm giving you fair warning - this is a small rant at Sods Law. Or Crips Law as it now is...  I'm ok, just having a moan at the sun, bless it, which is making me wish I could go out and enjoy it!
So, today. It's a lovely day. Husband has been rowing, elder daughter went to town with a friend, youngest went to the park to play...
What have I been doing? Sat inside wondering why my feet and leg choose a nice sunny Saturday to really fire up so that everything I do today has to be in 5 minute slots of time.
1 load of laundry in the machine, laundry room tidied.....5 minutes
SIT. OUCH.
Unload dishwasher, reload it, tidy kitchen a bit....another 5
SIT. OUCH.
Play piano for 10 minutes
SIT. OUCH.
Collect all upstairs things in a box ready to go back to where they should be...
SIT. OUCH. OUCH.
You get the picture!
I want to be outside in the sun wandering around town, getting the last few bits before we go away, choosing a t-shirt, taking my kids to buy a few things for themselves. Watching them laugh and pick ridiculous things out for fun... I was going to go in today, but by the time my husband returned from rowing, it was clear today was not a good day to do even the tiny route I had planned in town. My feet and knee have been so painful every night recently, I can't bear the thought of them being even worse because I've ignored the warning signs. But I feel a real wet blanket for staying home while they go out. 'Poor mummy with her bad leg'....sigh...
Days like this all my usual resolve and bravado just melts away, and I so WISH I was the old me again....slim and energetic and fun, doing twenty things in an hour and chasing my kids around in the garden. Now I feel fat and slow and a burden every time I do go out.
I HATE CRPS!!!!!!!!
Hope you are all having a better afternoon 
Bram  |
I totally get how you feel. It has been great weather here! We have been organizing our house and redecorating my daughter's room... and what do I get to do?? Watch! It really sucks. It makes me feel like a lazy *****. I feel guilty because this is my house too and I am not helping, so what do I do I help anyway and now I am hurting.
I want so much to be able to have helped paint my daughter's room and help hang the wall decorations. I want to be able to reorganize and clean my house and not just tell other people how to do it. Although my dad has a new girlfriend who is quite understanding of my situation, which is refreshing and surprising (It is hard for me to trust it)But since I have been ignoring my pain and helping anyway, I am unable to take my daughter to the river to play now that it is hot out. It is very frustrating watching your old self disappear and not be able to do the things you want to do. It makes fighting hard to do, but then you remember why you are fighting. You have to keep going so that you can find the things you can do and find out who the new you is. We have to find the happiness in who we are now so that we can keep fighting, keep smiling, and keep living and not just be alive. I hope that you all are doing better today!!