hello "MissKitty".we know how you feel.in case we are just "Saying"this to make you feel good.just go back and check on some of these members past posting.you will find me and my sister"ginnie"who went thru the same thing.so we know your pain here @ NT better than anyone else."Bretd" say it very well in how "god"bring us to this point in life or has "his reason".some dont like hearing all this holly stuff.but just like "bretd"i know he will see us through this.but i know what your worried about...its the here and now!..what do i do right now.."who or where i turn to"?? Oh by the way .we "dont judge anyone here"