How are you coming along SC. you're in my thoughts, & I hope you can draw strength from the people here on NT who are here for you & firmly believe you've got this. You can do it. Early days are early days. Things will improve with time, believe it, believe me, believe us. The mind is all powerful, we can create a different narrative, we can overcome negative bring me down thoughts. It's not easy, we have to work at it. I watch Dr Jordan Nguyen and Catalyst when I'm feeling in despair. It never fails to jolt me. I hope you are able to access the links I gave the other day. He truly is remarkable. There is hope for PN sufferers with biomedical, true hope.

Your puppy will understand. Dogs are fantastic creatures incapable of holding grudges. As long as he/she is with you, it's all OK. Talk to hem/her. Explain in detail what you are going through. Dogs may not understand words, but they understand a lot more than we give them credit for. Tell the dog about the pain, about currently not being able to go romping, but that as soon as it's an option again, you will make up for it. Also, do you have a dog walk service near you? We used that when we both didn't have the time because of work during the week.

The only things dogs need and crave are food and love/attention, and not necessarily in that order.

PJ, holy *****! Yeah, you can be 100% sure the cessation is what caused the seizure, that's what Xanax does. The comparison to heroine fails when it comes to withdrawal: you don't die from heroine cold turkey. You will feel horrible(not personal experience for once), but you will not die. With benzos you might, and especially with Xanax.

I had a long talk with my GP after rehab. They kinda know the risk, but not really. I did open her eyes, based on what I learned in rehab, and some research. I can only hope they will be more careful with allowing prolonged use.

Irony: one of the best ways to prevent the seizures from both alcohol and benzos is... a high dose of benzos. The doctors/nurses in rehab really did a great job there. Based on your drug of choice and your intake, they calculate a regimen. In my case it was 90mg of Tranxene (Clorazepate) the first day, then 60 mg the next day, 40, 20, and then 0 after that. This way they prevent getting hooked on it, but they also prevent seizures. The drug is specifically known for use in withdrawal.

PS: in case anyone thinks about it: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. They monitored me throughout the days and even nights, took my vitals every 2 hours, logged those, compared them with what they should expect, etc. It felt very safe, and it was one of the big benefits of going to a rehab with real docs, nurses, and psychs.

I did walk around like a zombie those first days. But no lasting damage. The rebound anxiety was horrible though.

PamelaJune...what a nightmare. Thanks for sharing and so very sorry you went thru all that. I believe doctors are far knowledgeable about Zanac and opiods as of late but still fail miserably with other drugs and their potential side effects and consequences. Personally I try to stay away from them but I am in a very dark place lately and if things do not improve I may need some help from anti anxiety and anti depressants. I am not suicidal but I flirt with thoughts of how lovely it would be to just go to sleep forever.

Wide-O, pets are great and yes, you are right.... they don't need much. This sweet old guy gives me purpose and he is getting up there in years too so likely not adoptable. We are stuck with each other, for better or worse.

I guess I didn't give much thought to the use of Benzo's until now. One of the meds I have been taking daily for years, dealing with mostly the muscle spasms rather than anxiety, is Valium.

Since I started taking it, the muscle spasms on the side of neck and shoulder has improved. For years I wasn't able to sleep on my left side because of the muscle pain. Now I can.

Am now a bit concerned because Valium is part of the benzo family.....Hymmmm ...




Gerry

I feel for you Gerry, I know your thoughts, it's why in other posts along the years I've agonised over the times I've been told insistently by the GP or surgeon with firm instruction to take xanax, I know what I went through. Only last month in hospital going for the Gallium scan they gave me 1mg Xanax but as I was on so many other drugs along with Valium I was unaware of the effects it usually gives me.

Yes Valium is a part of the Benzo group, it is known for forming body dependence but I'm told it is not like xanax which is significantly addictive. If you were to ever drop your Valium take be sure to do so with GP supervision and an open mind to GP's sometimes are not as all knowing as we wish they were. They are generalised for a reason, not specialised. So if you feel your GP is not on board with your concerns, talk to your PM. Ironically there are drugs available to help you titrate off of these drugs with little angst. But you have to ask for them, and given you only take them for a short time to aid getting off the original drug, dependence doesn't form.

I'm not talking in your case Gerry, your PM will be the only one for you to ask is the amount of Valium you take still required to manage your many ailments. So no thinking cold turkey, or I'll have a go and cutting down on my own xx

This is correct and vital: the danger is not so much in taking it (except when mixing with alcohol), but in getting off them without tapering. You really need a couple of weeks, do it very gradually, and pay attention to your body/brain.

Fortunately, valium is nowhere near as dangerous as Xanax, and if it helps you sleep (and nothing else will), and you are not upping the dose constantly, you might even consider staying with it. Talk to a doctor to make sure (I surely am not one!). No reason for panic or worry, just something you need to be aware of.

My experience of benzodiazepines is limited compared to the others so I am not sure how general it is.

I spent a bit over a month as a patient in a private psychiatric hospital, taking the first steps in dealing with my alcohol abuse and clinical depression. Initially I was a bit agitated so one of the psychiatric nurses suggested Valium, taken once a day, in front of her (same procedure as for any other prescription drug) - they were rightly very strict about this. It worked for me so after a while I told her that I didn't need it any more - she just smiled and agreed.

Another patient was less fortunate. From what he said in our regular morning check-in session, run by a clinical psychologist, he was severely addicted to alcohol and Xanax. From cryptic comments from the clinical psychologist (their medical ethics were impeccable), he was monitored 24/7 including being on suicide watch.

When I left he was still there but I think had shown some signs of improvement.

I know a woman who just lost her son to heroin. It all started about 8 years ago when he was prescribed opiods after his car crash. He was only 28.

I had to run out for 2 quick errands. Unfortunately one was right next door to a liquor store. Oh wow, I was white knuckled getting to my car and staying outta trouble. I did it but that was quite a challenge. I remembered Icehouse saying "accountability" keeps him sober. I did not want to come here and tell you I failed and in the same breath complain that my legs hurt. You all saved me.

I would NEVER have gone to that store right next to the liquor store if I had not felt strong and in a good frame of mind. OMG.... that was so difficult! I had a mini anxiety attack when I got home and am still reeling. I have clonepin here and if I can't settle down I will need take one. That urge was so powerful and came outta no where. It was frightening!
It is so confusing that in addiction we crave the very thing that makes us so ill and unhappy. Deep breathes and this posting has been helpful. I will skip the clonie but will need to be more mindful in where I go shopping. Lesson learned.