Pam,
That is really GREeeeatttt!!!!!!!!!!

I pray she will have the strength to carry on in her quest for sobriety..


Gerry

That is indeed good news. Rehab can be a life saver if she gives it a chance.

I agree with Icehouse on the duration BTW. Even though for me the 70 days were enough (strict minimum there), most people went on to stay for about 3 months with another 6 months in assisted housing/aftercare programs.

70 days was the exception, but that was because I was so determined that when I stepped in there, it would be the first and the last time. I was done and I knew it. I just wanted those weeks to concentrate on myself only, to detox, and to try to gain a perspective on what the hell had happened, and how to avoid it in the future. Sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but it's good to stop the daily noise for a while and concentrate on getting better.

Also: I wasn't homeless, and so many of my fellow rehabbers were (or very close to it). Our social security pays for an almost unlimited number of stays, which has pros and cons like so many things. It's good in that money can never be an excuse for not trying to get sober. It's not so good because for many it was their umpteenth time, and they didn't see it as a big deal, or even important. The "record holder" was there for the 5th time. Yet, some do get sober after many tries, so who is to judge when enough is enough?

Some were there ordered by the courts. Some did it to just go through the motions. Some were people who just didn't have the skills to deal with modern life. Quite an eye opener for this here self employed cocooning IT wiz hot shot suburb dweller.

Many of them had been through 2 week detoxes or 1 month programs - with very little success.

I'm still trying to gather the courage to write a book about what I found there, how it works, the different people and stories. I have pages and pages of notes - I wrote down the day's events just before bed time. I started a few times, but literally choked up. I want to do justice to the stories, the people. And I have to write about myself in the most honest way too. Not easy, not easy at all. Yet, maybe worth it, as there is a huge gap between the first level (GP's) and the rest of the care system. Docs really just don't know what's available, how long it takes, how to refer people, costs. It's still very much a taboo and a black hole. Nobody has an alcohol problem, right? Some patients just "drink a little too much".

Maybe it would work for families and friends too. What to expect? What happens in such a place? How long does it take? Can we visit? Can they go home for weekends? Etc etc.

I don't want to write a vanity book, so I'm just trying to gauge the worth of actually writing it, getting it published, and "going public"...

Anyway, enough about me. Pamela, I hope she finds the tools to get out sober and have a perspective on a sober life.

Please write the book.

You pointed me in the direction of Terry, which I finished yesterday. I cried many a tear, but the gaps between what's really happening/ happened in rehab are glaringly absent & from the writers perspective (father) glossed over, I imagine because he relied alot on Terry's notes & other people & the rehab grit went unwritten or perhaps he felt those rehab stories were not his to tell. From someone on the other side as you know, I've looked for lots to gain insight, it's how I first met you all (NT). What you say mirrors what DB told me, of his intake group only he remains sober nearly 2 years later (if we don't count the minute lapse that 1st Xmas when he drank but not enough to get drunk as I caught him out in the lie) 18 months 100% sober.
If I was a writer, I'd write the stories DB tells, but you've got it all 1st hand. It's so needed.

Interesting. I have been asked to write a book too. I am not a writer, and there is MUCH that I have not shared in this thread (too embarassed?) and I probably never will.

Maybe a collection of anonymous stories from around the globe?

Now that's an idea with value, every country treatment on offer is different from what I've learned - first hand experiences shared in one book would offer so much value. Wide-O and Icehouse your words of wisdom & later Kiwi, Gerry, Mrs D have helped me more than you could ever know from my very first foray onto this thread. I often wonder where Newtown (sp?) fares.

Pamela and Icehouse, count me in on the idea of writing a book (maybe an e-book?).

It seems to me that all of the people here (from different countries and with different experiences) have been very honest and supportive of each other.

I don't know how the technicalities of a book might work but sharing our mutual experiences with other folk could well help them.

Lots of food for thought.

Pamela, you are absolutely right in that the treatment is usually different in different countries.

That gave me the idea that maybe, for me, it has to be 2 things.

1) a book about my own story, with focus on everything "local", in my own language, with real names of places, facilities etc.*

2) distilling a story from that which is more "international" or universal, translated into English, so that we could bundle it with stories from Icehouse, Kiwi and everyone who feels up to it. It would be great if it includes the perspective of a "significant other" too - and maybe that could even be the narrator that introduces the stories and puts them into perspective. You have just been volunteered!

Just thinking out loud. I had been struggling with the language aspect for a good while. Dutch is a very small language, yet the local aspect is very important if the writings are to be useful for people here. English is the more universal language, but then I can't really talk about some of the specifics. As an example, in English I would first have to explain the workings of our health care system etc. which would mean people fall asleep after 10 pages.

But the idea of a bundle of stories, available together, correctly edited and formatted, as a resource (online?) would be huge I think. Sure, we have this thread, and Pamela's , but that is not the same. A properly edited book - even if it were to be freely available online, which would have my vote - would be much more accessible.

PS: Newstown still visits from time to time. Last time I think he mentioned he was trying out Metanx?

* it would even contain a few "bombshells" that only make sense locally. One is about the son of a politician who used heroine in his room and dealt to others, got ousted by the staff (correctly so, those were the rules, he endangered other patients), and got himself killed in a fight the next day. Only those of us inside knew the real story, the papers never got it. His mother blamed rehab for the death of her son. She stormed into the facility the day after he died, howling as only the mother of a death child can. "YOU KILLED MY SON!" I still get goose bumps thinking about it; it was both unfair, but to her, it made total sense. Perspective... It also made us realise that we weren't in some kind of movie, that it was life & death for sure.

Writing all that down, how it affected us, without being rude or insensitive, is not going to be easy. But it needs to be done.

PS: it wasn't only "heavy stuff". If I were to tell you that one story is about a Jew, a Turkish Muslim, and a white power Neo Nazi who went shopping together in a beat car, and got stopped by the police... you'd think I was taking the mickey. Yet that's exactly what happened. They looked real scruffy and confused after 11 days of rehab (it was their first time out, and they went to a "Stock Americain" - army surplus shop - to buy some boots). Together, yes, as in rehab those political & religious divides pretty much evaporated. The cop could NOT understand that none of them blew positive! (or why they didn't try to murder each other!) When he asked where they came from, and they said the name of the place, he was even more taken aback, because the rehab was mostly known as a psychiatric clinic, a.k.a the "nut house". Even though they had no drivers license between them, they didn't even get a ticket and were free to go.

Here is a rough draft of what might go into an e-book or similar. As ever, improvements and suggestions would be great.

We are all members of NeuroTalk, which is a world-wide support board for people with neurological problems or mental health issues. One forum within NeuroTalk is concerned with people who abuse alcohol.

We live in different countries and have different experiences but have one thing in common; we all know about alcohol abuse and its consequences. Some of us know about this directly, others know about it because a family member is dealing with alcohol abuse.

These are our stories. For privacy reasons we have used pseudonyms. We all hope that our stories will help others.

Kiwi's story
For many years I drank moderately - maybe a glass of wine with a meal but nothing more. About 10 years ago I drank to excess because I was dealing with some very complex relationship issues and thought that alcohol would numb them. This was a poor choice - I behaved badly towards the two people involved and it has taken me a long time to rebuild trust with them both.

For me the wake-up call was when I went to my local bottle-shop to get my daily bottle of brandy. The owner did not have to ask - he just gave it to me. I asked myself "What are you doing to yourself?".

I then made the hardest decision in my life; I checked in to a psychiatric hospital for a month, getting great help from the health professionals there.

I have been sober for the last 10 years. Compared to others I have been lucky - I had some mild peripheral neuropathy in my hands which has largely resolved and still have a bit of minor essential tremor in my hands, which I can live with.

I hope that my story might help others who are dealing with alcohol abuse.

[Just my thoughts and a very rough draft of the kind of things that we all might say. mrsD, if this or something like it ends off in some third-party site, I don't think that I have broken any NT rules in it. Do you have any thoughts on this or any other suggestions?]

Great start. I think the process going in and staying at the hospital could be very interesting.

On another, PN related, note: I noticed again how much stress affects my PN. We went on a trip last week, and both days before driving I was pretty nervous. On both days, I felt a lot of pain in my feet, pain I hadn't experienced in a long while.

It was a 15 hour drive (over 2 days), and it doesn't matter as passenger or driver, as I'm a horrible passenger and prefer driving. I did 12 hours in total coming back (2 stints of 6, my wife drove the rest), and ... had almost no pain at the end of it. Once home, it completely went away (bar the usual discomfort). That can't be a coincidence.

I know rationally I shouldn't get stressed about something like that, but that's not how our brain works. Or at least mine. It's like your whole body braces expecting pain and suffering. But on the flip side, it's another "victory" as I now know it's possible to go to Italy - even as a driver. It's not easy, and I wouldn't be able to do that every month, but it was doable.

Admittedly, after the drive home, I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow , and didn't wake up for another 14 hours.

DB agrees a book would be invaluable. Nothing is out here to prepare anyone on what to expect going in, while there, coming out, staying out.
DB went to rehab 2 times, the very first time I was going to hospital for an operation and we had to take a taxi so I could take him to rehab first then take the same taxi to my hospital. I had my operation and 4 weeks later had complications & rushed to emergency. DB found out my brother was being lackadaisical in tending to the dogs & discharged himself. He stayed sober for 9 months. We all agree had he stayed the duration the first time & dealt with his PTSD things could have been different the next few years. But there you go, he made a choice based on his gut. Had he had the chance to read stories beforehand he may not have made that decision. In essence, the dogs were fine, they were safe, they were getting food & water but the routine differed to what DB expected. The rest is history. This is a VERY glossed over version of the first time & ive not mentioned the time inside. From a visitor perspective I cried a river.