[Samantha11]

I recently decided I was not going to use alcohol. It has been 5 weeks since I've drank. I am an alcohol abuser. I have been taught by my parents (who are alcoholics) all my life, to drink for every occasion, especially to dull the pain or "get rid of" whatever needs dealt with.
I have recently returned home as I have needed support in a crisis, and all they do is drink. They start early, around 2 pm, and are wasted with their friends by 6. They will not change their lifestyle, and I don't believe they have to for me, but I do believe there is something to be said about their getting belligerently drunk at lest 4 nights a week.
This is the life they are used to, but they do not understand how deeply it impacts me. I am going through mental health issues, and struggling to get by every day. I want my home to be a safe space, but it turns out just my room is. Isolating is the opposite of what I need to be doing, and I feel so depressed about it.

At this time, I am not craving alcohol, so having it around doesn't bother me as much as their actions and behaviors.

I have to live here right now, and I need to, once again, learn daily how to support myself when I most need support from others. Especially family. I guess I feel abandoned.

The drunkness sucks, but the hangovers are a bit*h, just sayin.

I will continue not to drink, but I don't know how long that will be sustainable in this house. I am afraid and feel alone.

~S