Hi, my name is Peg, this is my first time in this thread, I usually post in the Multiple Sclerosis or Chronic Pain thread. I am also in recovery from drug & alcohol addiction & that is what I REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT NOW.

Just quickly I drank from around age 11 to about 24; had a coke habit & used other substances as well for several years. Over 25 years ago when I was first diagnosed with multiple sclerosis I started my road to recovery. I got my act together, went to college & even worked in the field of addiction & mental health. Though I knew "the drill" somewhere along the path (I had about 14 years clean & sober) I got too busy for AA. Just after what would have been my 16th anniversary facing numerous life altering changes I relapsed. I am back in the rooms going on 7 years (7 years January 16) & despite many more serious life changes I have remained clean & sober. In the past 18 months as my multiple sclerosis has gotten worse (it is now secondary progressive) it has gotten harder & harder for me to make meetings. Many meetings ARE NOT accessible. Then in the past 6 months I find driving @ night difficult & I find myself limited to accessible day meetings.

When I was 6 months sober I moved from New Jersey back to New York where I had grown up. I was now living on Long Island where I HAD NOT lived before. I found a meeting that met Monday to Friday @ Noon. The man who was sort of the "superindent" (no AA is not supposed to have bosess but don't tell Mike that) took me under his wing & we became great friends. He was my mentor, my friend, the father I never had. In the last several months we have had problems in our relationship not related to the meeting. He introduced me to some of his neighbors & we became friends; they do not know that either of us is in recovery. Lately Mike started to question (often in a nasty & aggressive manner) whether I broke his anonimity to these people which I didn't. I finally decided we needed to attend different meetings & off I was in search of another accessible day meeting.

A friend led me to a day meeting that also meets daily. I attended the meting a week, ago Friday when I was so upset & really at wits end.. I could not go on Monday but went yesterday & again today.

Having had 16 years sober & now almost 7 I have attended hundreds probably thousands of meetings but today was a first. When I came in there was a woman sitting in the 2nd row with q girl about 2. I have a small Service Dog. The child immediately went to grab the dog & though my dog loves children she was working & I expect a certain decorum from her when she is in public establishments.

I put my legs up on a chair & as always my Service Dog took her place lying along my outstreached legs. Even before the meeing started this kid was picking & grabbing @ the dog & I was chasing her. I have a rollator walker that is highly decorated then she was trying to pull the stick on letters off the front of my walker. I had my notepad out & she was trying to grab that & my pen.

The meeting began & I settled in to listen to speaker. The fact that the speaker shared for 45 minutes of a 1 hour meeting when he should have shared 15 to allow more people to share is irrelevent. The entire time this man spoke this "child" ran all over the room screaming like a wild animal. The kitchen was a few feet from the speaker without a door the mother took the child in the kitchen & allowed her to run, slide, giggle & scream the whole time this man spake. In between the kid is still running all over the room screaming, grabbing my dog, grabbing my walker etc. I was going to leave but wanted to say something first.

Since I was sitting in the front row I was the first person to raise my hand when the speaker finally took a show of hands.

I went on to explain how the person that recommeded this meeting to me told me that I needed to be sure that my Service Dog had her vest and I had her ID card etc. because there were STRICT RULES concerning dogs in the meeting. I said that Esperanza had now been in 3 meetings there & NO ONE ever heard her utter a peep. I said (which is the truth) "I am childless by choice & when I come to a meeting to work on my sobriety I want to at least be able to hear the speaker" & I DID say how many meetings I attended even ones with children & never saw what I did today. I also said (again the truth) "Esperanza has been to fine restaurants, concerts, movies, & hundreds of meetings & NEVER had to be taken out of the meeting because she disturbed anyone or the meeting." At this point many people DISAGREED with me & started ganging up on me shouting out nasty comments & the woman with the kid started yelling about not getting a babysitter. The chairman of the meeting @ that point told me "there are other meetings". Esperanza & I left & will not be going back.

I understand people may not always be able to get a babysitter & this IS NOT the first child that I have seen in a meeting but shouldn't the child be under the parents control & not disrupt the meeting?

I am just curious what other people's experiences are in this regard.

Thanks,
Peg

That mother was WRONG to let her child run rampant all over the place, make noise, and be utterly disruptive. If MY child had done that, I'd have left the meeting immediately. Small children do NOT belong at an AA meeting or at ANY meeting for that matter. If you can't get a babysitter, then stay home.

That was UNFAIR to the other people in the meeting. Even if they disagreed with you, it was STILL unfair. The speaker deserved to have quiet while he was speaking and not have to try to speak over some wild child!

I'm with YOU on this one. If the mother had needed a meeting that bad, she should have arranged for a babysitter earlier.

In MY book, you did nothing wrong ~ I wouldn't go back there either! God bless. Hugs, Lee

Wow that's wild! Hope you found another meeting!