I recently decided I was not going to use alcohol. It has been 5 weeks since I've drank. I am an alcohol abuser. I have been taught by my parents (who are alcoholics) all my life, to drink for every occasion, especially to dull the pain or "get rid of" whatever needs dealt with.
I have recently returned home as I have needed support in a crisis, and all they do is drink. They start early, around 2 pm, and are wasted with their friends by 6. They will not change their lifestyle, and I don't believe they have to for me, but I do believe there is something to be said about their getting belligerently drunk at lest 4 nights a week.
This is the life they are used to, but they do not understand how deeply it impacts me. I am going through mental health issues, and struggling to get by every day. I want my home to be a safe space, but it turns out just my room is. Isolating is the opposite of what I need to be doing, and I feel so depressed about it.

At this time, I am not craving alcohol, so having it around doesn't bother me as much as their actions and behaviors.

I have to live here right now, and I need to, once again, learn daily how to support myself when I most need support from others. Especially family. I guess I feel abandoned.

The drunkness sucks, but the hangovers are a bit*h, just sayin.

I will continue not to drink, but I don't know how long that will be sustainable in this house. I am afraid and feel alone.

~S

PLEASE DO NOT DRINK. Alcoholism does "run" in families and you ARE at risk. Since you did abuse alcohol, your chance of becoming an alcoholic are extremely HIGH. Both my parents were alcoholics, and I did become one. In one day, I will have 19 years clean/sober, with the grace of God and AA's help.

Unfortunately, my son also became an alcoholic, and right now he is in the critical care unit in the hospital on life support due to alcohol. His organs shut down, his liver wasn't working, he is yellow, he was bleeding internally, his blood counts were so low that he SHOULD have been dead, but obviously God had other ideas, because there was no other explanation according to the hospital!!! We don't know for sure if he will make it or not. So if YOU BEGIN to drink again, this could be your future. YOU could end up like this. PLEASE DON'T DRINK. I beg of you.

I don't want you to be a statistic, Samantha. Don't end up like this because you very likely could. Alcoholism KILLS.

I'm sorry your parents are living like that, and that you have to live there with them. Is there NO OTHER place you can live? Do you have friends you could stay with? Any other relatives, i.e. grandparents, aunts, uncles? This environment is toxic for you. If there is ANY place you could go, please go! If you cannot, please make yourself scarce because you just CANNOT drink!! It's a matter of life and death, Samantha -- I'm not kidding.

God bless you and my prayers are with you. Keep me posted, will you? I really care -- I'm not kidding. Hugs, Lee

I will not drink. I know it's not conducive to my recovery, though I know it will be a struggle to refrain. I don't want to wake up in 10 years with a hangover, wondering where my life went, sick, or not wanting to live. I know my life has more potential. And I don't want to destroy that with alcohol.
Easier said than done, right? I give myself an array of excuses (well idid) to drink, and it got me here. Tired, depressed, anxious, and needing help. I know alcohol isn't wht brought me here, not on it's own, anyway, but I know that I use it to escape, and escaping is not coping. It's not growing.

I just need to keep talking about it, keep my awareness of myself up and kickin' so I don't fall in to the trap again.

Right now, I take my meds and smoke cigarettes. I will address that mountain when I'm ready to climb it.

~Samantha