the term 'alcoholic' is not particularly useful, bizi, I agree. It doesn't mean much that anyone agrees on, the term addict is somewhat more specific but still has problems. The real thing, seems to me, is whether our drinking harms us, harms others, keeps us from personal growth and from achieving life goals. Does it make you feel the way you want to feel. Does it keep you from having trouble with other people. And so on. These, to me, are the real questions about alcohol and most other substances.

And re your comments on AA, I benefited a lot when I attended AA. You don't have to believe anything you don't want to, all you have to do is say "I have a desire to stop drinking." You don't even have to say or believe that you are an alcoholic. And, like anywhere else, there are a lot of nutjobs at AA, also. It's a mixed bag, but generally, I met great people who were fun to be with and they shared the same goals I did in sobriety.

One of my favourite sayings back in the day was. "I am not an Alcoholic. Alcoholics go to meetings."

With that being said, I was not an alcoholic till about 2009 (after 20 years of drinking) when it dawned on me that my drinking was affecting me in negative ways. It was also affecting others around me (like Newstown pointed out).

Denial is one of the biggest hurdles to overcome when dealing with an abuser of a substance.

Bizi, look back over this thread and read it from a 3rd party point of view. Does that look like "normal" behavior to you?

Blackouts, bing drinking, accelerated consumption, hangovers, etc....

This is not a place to sugar-coat things. You are here for a reason. You have a problem.

FWIW, I attend (and lead) Celebrate Recovery meetings because they work, not because they are Faith based (but that is a perk), and if you attend them with an open mind they have a much higher success rate than AA meetings.

I would give anything to be able to have just one drink. I would love to have a glass of red wine with a ribeye steak at a 5-star restaurant. A cold beer after work would be heavenly, but I was not wired for that.

Again, you are posting here for a reason. What is it? This is not meant to be mean, but to get you to think outside the box.

I guess I decided to not drink for 165 days pretty easily I might add, only a few times that I "craved" a drink. It really was not effecting my work hubby doesn't think it is a problem. I was bored many of the times and feel that I must get a life beyond just work and am trying to go to the gym and be healthier in general. Drinking does not fit into that equation. I have decided to not drink again.

Having said this, I feel it is ok that I post here.
If I am not welcome please let me know.
bizi

Nobody said you were not welcome. Let's not play that game.

Q: After your 165 day stint with sobriety, was your drinking pattern less, the same, or worse than before?

worse, not moderate at all. It was like a release and I was a crazy woman. I also am bipolar and have troubles with extremes.
bizi

Q2: Can you have just one alcoholic drink and walk away?

I never have.
I call myself a binge drinker.
Today is day 4.
This stopping and starting has been going on for years.
I must say that 165 days was my longest AF time period.
bizi

My daughter has benifited greatly from AA. Also, I know that I myself run risk of being an addictive personality. My daughter has and always will be "in recovery".

She attends regularly AA Meetings. She says even tho it may seem the same old same old; you need to be constantly reminded. It has been about 17 yrs. for her; but knows she needs to attend meetings regularly for the rest of her life or the old way of thinking will return. She tells me; it is your way of thinking that has to be changed. It is ongoing.

Thankful for AA,


Gerry

yes it reminds me of the actor who had been sober for 23 years then relapsed. so sad.
I made it 6 days then started drinking again.
I must stop.
bizi

I was a heavy smoker 2 1/2 pks a day for over 20 years. I tried so many times to stop. I would get as far as day 17 and then convince myself I could
just smoke 2 cigarettes a day; well then 3; well before I knew it, I was smoking heavier than I had been previously.

My adult daughter had entered an addiction program at the hospital near me about 17 years ago. It was an out patient so each day she would have to leave at 9:00 p.m. and be back the next morning. This was a 30 day program. There were days parents, husbands, family, etc. were invited.

While attending some of these for her; I stopped smoking. Sooo for me, as well as her, it has been a two for one program and will be 17 years this March But; now I know I could never never pick up even one
cigarette. It would be all over. But, I know the term...."today I did not smoke". Take it one day at a time has added up so far to 17 years next month.

Wish you all the best.

Gerry