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Old 04-03-2015, 04:44 PM #11
eva5667faliure's Avatar
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
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eva5667faliure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
Default ...continued...

so like i said
at a point i in the past two years
rarely will i go and when i do it is my home
group
my character defects
do arise during my worse of times
pain anger resentments all alive again
and it is in my fellowship that reminds me
how i live on a day to day basis and how i handle myself in the day and know how very important i have remained sober
I NEVER GET HIGH ON MY PILLS
i take them as prescribed and my pain specialist, shrink
and oncologist all know of my use of cannabis and are understanding how it helps and are okay with it
my fellowship also knows

and today i will work with my friend willing to drive me to meetings but also offered to bring me home

just for today
i will make things better
by becoming the person i was
Awesome
just for today i will
LET GO AND LET GOD
AS I COME BACK
to thy self be true
me
__________________
someone who cares
eva
eva5667faliure is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
DejaVu (08-22-2015), ger715 (04-04-2015), PamelaJune (04-03-2015)

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Old 04-04-2015, 11:11 AM #12
ger715 ger715 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,180
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ger715 ger715 is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,180
10 yr Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
so like i said
at a point i in the past two years
rarely will i go and when i do it is my home
group
my character defects
do arise during my worse of times
pain anger resentments all alive again
and it is in my fellowship that reminds me
how i live on a day to day basis and how i handle myself in the day and know how very important i have remained sober
I NEVER GET HIGH ON MY PILLS
i take them as prescribed and my pain specialist, shrink
and oncologist all know of my use of cannabis and are understanding how it helps and are okay with it
my fellowship also knows

and today i will work with my friend willing to drive me to meetings but also offered to bring me home

just for today
i will make things better
by becoming the person i was
Awesome
just for today i will
LET GO AND LET GOD
AS I COME BACK
to thy self be true
me


Eva,

I am glad to learn you will be attending the must needed meetings. Do you have a sponsor?

You may remember, my adult daughter (cocaine addict) has been drug free since 1997. Without these meetings; this would not remains as it is. She is well aware of this. My daughter often speaks at meetings. Her first sponsor (passed away) was a very important figure in her life. My daughter still repeats what she learned from her. At the present, my daughter has another wonderful sponsor.

All you wrote is so on the "spot". This is an area which I have not read your previous posts being so intense and so aware ( not only of pain) of what is needed for your recovery. Not drinking is not the only solution; but as you have written in these past two posts, you seemed to have nailed what you need to do for self improvement.

I pray you will continue with the meetings and the fellowship which is so important. This may be the "key" to help relieve some of the "dark hole" you have been in.

Love & Prayers,

Gerry
ger715 is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
DejaVu (08-22-2015), eva5667faliure (04-04-2015)
Old 04-04-2015, 12:16 PM #13
eva5667faliure's Avatar
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
eva5667faliure eva5667faliure is offline
Grand Magnate
eva5667faliure's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: new jersey
Posts: 3,523
10 yr Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ger715 View Post
Eva,

I am glad to learn you will be attending the must needed meetings. Do you have a sponsor?

You may remember, my adult daughter (cocaine addict) has been drug free since 1997. Without these meetings; this would not remains as it is. She is well aware of this. My daughter often speaks at meetings. Her first sponsor (passed away) was a very important figure in her life. My daughter still repeats what she learned from her. At the present, my daughter has another wonderful sponsor.

All you wrote is so on the "spot". This is an area which I have not read your previous posts being so intense and so aware ( not only of pain) of what is needed for your recovery. Not drinking is not the only solution; but as you have written in these past two posts, you seemed to have nailed what you need to do for self improvement.

I pray you will continue with the meetings and the fellowship which is so important. This may be the "key" to help relieve some of the "dark hole" you have been in.

Love & Prayers,

Gerry
to my very beautiful friend

never have you abandoned us
you are instrumental and continue to be present
really listening
for that i say thank you a thousand times
i want you to understand that
Corissa is doing much better in her program
and going to both fellowship
she is a cutter
the home front is in a horrible storm
as a different child of mine just did a 28 day program
was released to go on to the next step rather she picked up
and made the mistake of not staying at the halfway house for the additional 6 months she left after 2 days and thought she would be able to stay here
the hardest thing to have to turn your back on your child
and she is not a child anymore she is 30

life my friend is a constant something going on
and it is never a small issue

wouldn't you know
of all time passed
my estrangement with my eldest
but my Son called me
after being estranged from him for several years
and was happy as cannot explain
but what he did say to me is that
i am a good mother
and that yes your grown children are mean and blank holes
to me over the years and said his sorry and that he loved me
and that he would begin to pay bak all the monies taken by him

he is maturing and making amends

you have never been judgmental
and i thank you for that

i will continue to force myself
and return to my home of the fellowship
let go and let God
this is where i knew there was a GOD
AMEN!
thank you beautiful lady
loving with prayers of miracles
me
__________________
someone who cares
eva
eva5667faliure is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
DejaVu (08-22-2015), ger715 (04-04-2015)
Old 04-04-2015, 01:53 PM #14
ger715 ger715 is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,180
10 yr Member
ger715 ger715 is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 2,180
10 yr Member
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by eva5667faliure View Post
to my very beautiful friend

never have you abandoned us
you are instrumental and continue to be present
really listening
for that i say thank you a thousand times
i want you to understand that
Corissa is doing much better in her program
and going to both fellowship
she is a cutter
the home front is in a horrible storm
as a different child of mine just did a 28 day program
was released to go on to the next step rather she picked up
and made the mistake of not staying at the halfway house for the additional 6 months she left after 2 days and thought she would be able to stay here
the hardest thing to have to turn your back on your child
and she is not a child anymore she is 30

life my friend is a constant something going on
and it is never a small issue

wouldn't you know
of all time passed
my estrangement with my eldest
but my Son called me
after being estranged from him for several years
and was happy as cannot explain
but what he did say to me is that
i am a good mother
and that yes your grown children are mean and blank holes
to me over the years and said his sorry and that he loved me
and that he would begin to pay bak all the monies taken by him

he is maturing and making amends

you have never been judgmental
and i thank you for that

i will continue to force myself
and return to my home of the fellowship
let go and let God
this is where i knew there was a GOD
AMEN!
thank you beautiful lady
loving with prayers of miracles
me

Eva, you are a strong willed woman;
now you have taken it to where is best place
to be.
LET GO; LET GOD !!!!!!!

Please continue with the meetings;
I have seen it work. Although my daughter's
choice of drugs was cocaine; she still introduces
herself as a drug and alcohol addict.

Thank you for the news about Corissa; I have
always said......"Corissa will make you proud".

I wholeheartedly feel you are on the "right track".

Eva, you and your family are in my daily prayers.


Gerry
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