Dear Eva,
You go through such a lot every day and you find the Strength to share with us, your Friends.

So, from me to you - for the first time to anyone:

In the '80s I drank and smoked (illegally here) to 'cope' with pain and severe Anxiety issues. This was on top of popping beta-blockers like Smarties. This was daily, but I was never an alcoholic, it NEVER affected me my tolerance was so high, but I had no cravings or withdrawals. I just got mentally relaxed with the mixture.

Staying up til 2am, I was fully straight by 7am the same morning. As the years passed heavier abuse led to nil reaction, work wasn't affected - I was even able to 'function' within small groups in the evenings as my Anxiety was drowned and smoked out.

I realised that I was consuming 2-3 times as much as before with no real effect after 7 years or so. I decided on a change, quit my job, sold my house, broke off a relationship and moved 250 miles, cutting all ties with my previous life. I haven't touched a drop, nor smoked, since. In 27 years I have only spoken to 2 people on 3 occasions from my 'past' life.

Dave.